The Thief, The Trickster, and The Stolen Kiss

Kain wasn't in a dungeon, but he wasn't exactly free, either.

After the royal court decided not to execute him, Princess Lysara arranged for him to stay within palace territory—but outside the main castle.

Which was just a polite way of saying: "We don't trust you, but we need you, so don't run."

His new room was a modest guest chamber inside the outer wing of the palace. It wasn't bad—definitely a step up from sleeping in abandoned ruins—but it still felt like a gilded cage.

And the worst part?

He wasn't alone.

---

Kain flopped onto the silken bed, sighing loudly.

The Trickster Goddess was sprawled across a lounge chair, lazily twirling a lock of pink hair around her finger, her golden fox tails flicking behind her.

Kain groaned. "Do you ever leave me alone?"

She grinned. "Nope~! You're far too entertaining."

Kain muttered something very rude under his breath.

"Alright, spill it," he said, sitting up. "Who the hell are you really, and why is this gauntlet such a big deal?"

The Trickster tapped her chin playfully. "Oh? You want story time~?"

Kain rolled his eyes. "No, I want to hear about how I won a grand vacation and a lifetime supply of alcohol. But since that's not happening, yes—story time."

The fox goddess chuckled, sitting up.

"Very well, my dear thief~. Allow me to introduce myself properly."

She flicked her wrist, and golden energy swirled around her, casting dancing shadows against the walls.

"I am Tsuki no Myobu," she said dramatically. "Goddess of trickery, illusions, and mischief. One of the oldest deities in this land."

Kain raised an eyebrow. "So… you're an ancient prankster."

Tsuki pouted. "Rude! I prefer 'divine orchestrator of fate and chaos.'"

"Right. That sounds so much better."

Tsuki huffed but continued. "And that gauntlet you're wearing? That was made for war."

Kain glanced down at the glowing runes on his wrist. "Yeah, the princess already gave me the scary speech. Said it belonged to some warlord."

Tsuki's expression darkened slightly. "Not just any warlord. The Demon Warlord, Raizel."

Kain frowned. "Sounds like a fun guy."

"He nearly conquered the world."

"Yup. Sounds about right."

Tsuki flicked her tails, golden light reflecting off them. "But he wasn't the first wielder of the Arcane Bind."

Kain's eyes narrowed. "Wait, what?"

Tsuki leaned in, her golden eyes shimmering. "That gauntlet wasn't originally made for a warlord. It was made for a hero."

Kain's breath hitched.

"…You're kidding."

Tsuki smiled—not her usual playful smirk, but something almost… nostalgic.

"The Arcane Bind was created by gods and mortals working together. It was meant to be the ultimate weapon against darkness. But…"

Her smile turned sharp. "Power is funny like that. It doesn't care who uses it."

Kain clenched his fist.

So this thing was meant for a hero… and instead, it became a warlord's weapon.

And now… it had chosen him.

He let out a frustrated sigh. "Great. So I'm wearing an artifact that can't decide if it wants to be a savior or a mass murderer."

Tsuki laughed. "Oh, I like you, thief~."

Kain pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright. What's your connection to it?"

Tsuki grinned mischievously. "Oh, that's the fun part! I was sealed inside it!"

Kain stared.

Then threw his hands up. "OF COURSE YOU WERE!"

Tsuki giggled. "For hundreds of years, I was trapped inside, watching history unfold. Waiting for someone to break the seal."

She leaned in closer, her pink hair brushing against his arm. "And then you came along~."

Kain scowled. "So I just… accidentally freed a divine fox menace from an ancient relic?"

Tsuki nodded cheerfully. "Correct~!"

Kain groaned. "I hate my life."

Tsuki flicked his forehead. "Awww, don't be like that! You and I are destined partners now."

Kain glared. "The only 'destiny' I see is me jumping off a cliff."

Tsuki beamed. "Oh, don't be dramatic. You should be honored!"

Kain rolled his eyes. "Yeah, honored to be stuck with a fox gremlin."

Tsuki pouted. "I am NOT a gremlin!"

"You sure as hell act like one."

Tsuki huffed, crossing her arms. "You wound me, thief."

Kain smirked. "Good."

She stuck out her tongue. "Fine, then. I won't tell you the coolest part about the gauntlet."

Kain paused.

"...What?"

Tsuki's golden eyes twinkled. "Nope! You called me a gremlin, so now I'm keeping secrets."

Kain growled. "Oh, for—just tell me!"

Tsuki giggled. "Make me~."

Kain groaned, reaching for her collar. "That's it, you little—"

The moment his fingers brushed her sleeve—

Tsuki shifted.

Or rather—she pretended to.

And Kain, who wasn't expecting it, lost his balance.

Badly.

He toppled forward—

Right onto Tsuki.

His weight pinned her down on the bed—and before he could react—

Their lips collided.

---

Silence.

Tsuki froze.

Kain's brain flatlined.

Then—

A huge explosion of golden energy erupted, sending Kain flying off the bed and crashing face-first into the floor.

He groaned. "Ow."

Tsuki sat up, cheeks pink, ears twitching.

She touched her lips.

Then—

She burst out laughing.

"Oh my gods, this is hilarious!"

Kain, still sprawled on the floor, groaned louder. "I hate my life."

Tsuki smirked. "You know, if you wanted to kiss me that badly, you could've just asked~."

Kain grabbed a pillow and threw it at her face.

Tsuki just cackled harder.

Somewhere, in the heavens, the gods were laughing at him.

Kain lay on the floor, arms spread out, contemplating every single life decision that led to this moment.

The room was still radiating with the aftershock of Tsuki's divine energy explosion, a few stray golden sparks floating lazily in the air.

And on the bed—

Tsuki hadn't stopped laughing.

"That was—" she gasped between fits of laughter, clutching her stomach, "—the single most ridiculous accident I have ever seen in my eternal life!"

Kain groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "I didn't mean to—!"

Tsuki wiped away a fake tear. "No, no, this is perfect. First the princess, now me? You're just collecting accidental kisses at this point!"

Kain sat up, glaring. "This is NOT a collection!"

Tsuki smirked. "Oh? Then what do you call it?"

"BAD LUCK."

Tsuki grinned wider. "Or…" She leaned forward, golden eyes twinkling. "A curse?"

Kain scowled. "You know what? I hope it's a curse. At least that would explain why my life is turning into a pervy romantic disaster."

Tsuki wiggled her pink fox ears, looking far too smug. "Mmm, I wouldn't call it a disaster~."

Kain shot her a flat look. "I was flung across the room by a divine energy explosion."

Tsuki shrugged. "Sounds like a normal kiss reaction to me."

Kain pointed at her. "You. Are. The. WORST."

Tsuki giggled. "Oh, you love me."

Kain opened his mouth to argue—

Then stopped.

His brain replayed her words.

His stomach dropped.

Oh no.

Tsuki's fox ears perked. "Oh? What's wrong, little thief?"

Kain's face paled. "Wait. WAIT. Hold on."

Tsuki tilted her head innocently. "Hmm?"

Kain shot to his feet.

"THAT WAS A KISS FROM A DIVINE BEING, WASN'T IT?!"

Tsuki's smile turned devious. "Why yes~. Yes, it was."

Kain's soul left his body.

"Oh, FUCK ME."

Tsuki burst into laughter again. "Oh my stars, you JUST realized?!"

Kain grabbed his head, panicking. "THAT MEANS—SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN, ISN'T IT?!"

Tsuki beamed. "Well~," she twirled a lock of pink hair, pretending to think, "A kiss from a goddess can mean many things."

Kain's eyelid twitched. "…Like what?"

Tsuki grinned devilishly. "Ohhh, I could tell you…"

Kain's stomach dropped further.

"...But it's more fun to let you find out."

Kain genuinely considered throwing himself out the window.

"THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST GODS!"

Tsuki laughed harder.

The worst part?

Somewhere, deep inside his very unfortunate soul, Kain had the distinct feeling…

This wouldn't be the last time.