The Unbelievers

Chapter 50

“I’ve arranged several places that can cooperate with security in advance. I’ve also sent Eunseong’s academic data, so they’ll match it well. I’ll share the academy schedule on your phone. Let me know if you want to change anything.”

“Can I invite friends over?”

“…Are you talking about that friend from before?”

“He doesn’t believe me. That I’m living like this now. I used to live so poorly before, you know.”

“Does Eunseong only feel his existence is validated when he shows off to others?”

“…What?”

Eunseong looked at Director Nam as if he didn’t understand what he was saying. Director Nam cleared his throat and continued.

“It’s only possible with people whose backgrounds we’ve checked in advance. It’s better not to invite anyone to the house at all.”

“He’s good at studying. I want to study with him.”

“Isn’t he living too far away? If he’s a good student, that’s even more reason not to. Wouldn’t it be a distraction for your friend with important entrance exams coming up?”

“…”

Eunseong hadn’t thought that far. He was about to call Choi Jung-eon because he was afraid of staying alone in such a spacious house. Although Jung-eon would come without hesitation if Eunseong called, it would be interfering with Jung-eon’s studies, as Director Nam pointed out.

Moreover, Jung-eon was now so focused on preparing for early admissions and the college entrance exam that they couldn’t even contact each other as often as before. At a time when all high school seniors were busy, Eunseong was the only one around who was idle and unprepared.

“I won’t call him.”

“Good thinking.”

Director Nam smiled, satisfied that Eunseong understood well. He then explained how Eunseong should live from now on. He carefully went over the days and times the housekeeper would come, and things like cash and cards needed for living.

“Call me right away if anything happens. I’ll be stopping by every day anyway.”

“…”

“A dedicated security guard will accompany you when you go to the academy or move around. I’ll bring them tomorrow to introduce you.”

Although the 24-hour close protection would mean they’d know all the details of Eunseong’s life anyway, leaving him alone was still quite worrying. Director Nam repeated what he had said many times and double-checked things he had already checked, lingering until he finally left.

After Director Nam left, the large house immediately became as quiet as a mouse.

Eunseong stood by the window overlooking the busy downtown area. The cityscape across the street, now lower, spread out like a panorama. This was probably the highest point he had ever been in his life.

Eunseong mulled over and over the strange feeling of being left alone overnight.

He slowly unpacked his things. He thought Yoo Siwoon had said “fine, do as you like” in anger, just as Eunseong had said he didn’t want to live with him in a fit of anger. He didn’t know it had been so thoroughly prepared. Although this wasn’t the result he wanted when he spoke those words, the fact remained that he would have been separated from Yoo Siwoon anyway once his feelings were discovered, regardless of what he had said.

“…I should have just kept my mouth shut. I shouldn’t have said I liked him.”

It was a pointless act. Yoo Siwoon wasn’t the type to interrogate about something done in an unconscious dream state. If Eunseong had pretended not to know and kept feigning ignorance, Yoo Siwoon might have pretended not to know and let it slide.

That’s what he should have done. Even if it seemed like Yoo Siwoon had noticed his feelings, he should have acted as if he hadn’t.

He should have suppressed and hidden his feelings of affection, then eaten dinner with him and gone running together. In the morning, Yoo Siwoon would brew and drink coffee, Eunseong would drink milk, and he would casually say goodbye to Yoo Siwoon as he left for work.

At night, he should have woken up the sleeping Yoo Siwoon saying he heard strange noises, and when Yoo Siwoon got up without showing any annoyance at his words and checked around, Eunseong should have stuck close to him, worried that someone might have intruded into their living space.

He should have dragged Yoo Siwoon out to check if the magpie eggs had hatched. While Yoo Siwoon gently pressed down on Eunseong’s arm that was making a fuss about how cute they were, telling him to be quiet, they should have been peering curiously into the solidly built nest… Looking at the North Star one day, Cassiopeia another day.

They should have just kept living like that.

“…”

Why on earth did he say he liked his cousin uncle?

The boxes that Director Nam and the staff had left in the room, which Eunseong had insisted on unpacking himself, were still unopened and stacked as they were.

Eunseong opened the boxes with listless movements. He took out the clothes and hung them neatly in the dressing room. He placed the books he often read next to the bed and put the rest on the desk bookshelf. There were more books that Yoo Siwoon had prepared in advance than Eunseong’s own books on the shelf.

After unpacking everything, hunger set in. If Yoo Siwoon had left work on time, it would have been time for his run. Eunseong opened the refrigerator and took out bread, butter, and a packaged salad. It was eerily quiet around him. He turned on a video on his phone. The suffocating silence disappeared, but the forced white noise only made his awareness of being alone even clearer.

Suddenly, he wanted to call Yoo Siwoon. He wanted to ask what he was doing. He wanted to ask if he had run well in his crow-like outfit, how many kilometers he had run today, if he had heard any strange noises in the garden.

It was a crazy thought. It was insane. Yoo Siwoon hadn’t said it directly, but he had explained Eunseong’s emotions as confusion coming from his immature age. It was a euphemism for saying he was out of his mind. Although Yoo Siwoon had always kept his distance from him, this time he had truly distanced himself and kicked Eunseong out, warning that he needed to keep away.

You shouldn’t keep liking that person.

“Seo Eunseong, are you crazy…? Have you really lost your mind?”

Maybe he was really mistaken, as Yoo Siwoon had said.

Could it be that his deficiency from growing up without proper love from his family was misinterpreting Yoo Siwoon’s gruff kindness as love? Could he be mistaking an adult’s protection, which he had never experienced before, for something else?

He wished it were like that. He hoped it was an emotion that would disappear with time.

After barely getting his thoughts together, Eunseong was about to call Choi Jung-eon but hesitated. He remembered Director Nam’s words about interfering with Jung-eon’s studies. It was a crucial time for Jung-eon, who was facing college entrance exams. Moreover, Jung-eon had said during their last call that the early admissions he was preparing for might be a bit difficult. He needed to prepare well for regular admissions to get into the school and department he wanted.

There was nowhere to contact. Since losing touch with his father, there hadn’t been a single call or text saying he was doing well, and Yoo Siwoon took his father’s disappearance for granted.

Now Eunseong had no one but Director Nam. There was no one around him except for this old-fashioned man who only said annoyingly correct things that hit home.

Since things had come to this, he decided to forget everything and focus on studying hard. He had been planning to leave home anyway. Running away had always been one of Eunseong’s grand plans, both before and now.

“In such a nice house? I’ve really lucked out.”

Although falling for someone in the meantime was an unexpected development, the current situation was ideal, achieving everything Eunseong had wished for.

Not only that, but he didn’t need to fear an uncertain future. His future was bright. It was like winning the lottery jackpot about five times.

Eunseong was a high-ranking heir in a family that valued legitimate children more than anyone. Although Yoo Siwoon had said he would be exploited, nothing in the world was easy. In the world Eunseong had lived in, even if you were slapped while working properly, you had to bow your head and apologize as if you were the one at fault. Above all, not having to worry about money anymore was the most thankful thing.

Eunseong tried to act cheerful on purpose.

After having a quick dinner, he sat at his desk and ambitiously started studying. Not knowing what to do, he just flipped through books aimlessly before taking out a workbook and solving problems. He studied quite late, solving one problem, checking the explanation, solving another, and checking again. Once he actually started studying, he could concentrate well, and only got up after midnight.

Before going to the bedroom to sleep, he set the security system according to the order Director Nam had posted on the wall. He was about to turn off all the lights but left some on.

Now he was truly alone. He had to live alone. The vague realization of being alone and the nighttime made Eunseong feel scared. The house was too big for living alone. He felt resentment again towards Yoo Siwoon, who had taken him away from his father saying he would protect him, only to kick him out to live alone in such a big house.

Everything seemed to be Yoo Siwoon’s fault. If Yoo Siwoon hadn’t forcibly taken him away, Eunseong would never have liked him in the first place. Despite deciding not to, Eunseong thought of Yoo Siwoon again.