The Villainess Does Not Want to Die

Chapter 59: Perhaps

Life was simple.

As long as I didn’t dream, my days followed the same routine: breakfast, a morning walk with Raphael, and then hours spent in my music room.

“That Olivia you mentioned…she came looking for me, right?”

“Yeah.”

“When did she say she’d be here?”

“She didn’t. She did say, though, that it’d be nice if you visited the palace to repay her for your first kiss.”

The value of a first kiss doesn’t seem high enough to warrant a trip on my part.

“The palace?”

“Yeah, you know. A year ago, she married that smug-looking prince.”

“And you, a knight, are comfortable calling His Highness smug?”

“What does it matter? No one’s listening.”

Despite his words, Raphael’s expression wavered slightly, a flicker of unease crossing his face.

He’d probably head out to the clearing in front of the house after this and spend hours swinging his sword again.

“You know, she’s still alive.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she is married to someone close to the throne. A bit of ‘bonding’ between siblings might result in a conveniently timed fall from the terrace.

Of course, the excuse would be too much wine.”

Raphael said nothing.

I didn’t care what he was thinking.

I’m someone who ran away from all that, after all.

I never faced the risk of death, but…it was hard enough as it was.

I spent the entire day locked in my room, playing music.

Sometimes I pressed keys, other times I drew a bow across strings or blew into a brass instrument.

Raphael had covered the walls with soundproofing at my request, so no one complained about the noise.

I had no desire to go out into the world.

Even though no one was actually watching me, I always felt like I was being scrutinized.

The only true friend I had was the piano.

Raphael? Maybe he counted.

I’d like to think he saw me as a friend, too.

The last shred of certainty I had in other people disappeared when I couldn’t even protect Alina from being tormented in the estate.

All I could do was hope.

Two days passed in this uneventful way.

As I was playing a light polka to clear my mind, Raphael entered the room.

I lifted my hands from the keys and stood, pulling my skirt back down.

I hadn’t expected him to suddenly come in, so I’d hitched it up to avoid brushing against it while using the pedals.

“Uh…why is your skirt like that?”

“You’ve seen me naked before—what’s there to be embarrassed about now?”

“I was embarrassed then, so I’m allowed to be embarrassed now too.”

“Fair enough. So, why are you here?”

“There’s a visitor downstairs.”

“A visitor?”

There were no windows in my room, so I’d have to get up to check.

But I’d kicked off my shoes and socks while playing, caught up in the music.

“Raphael, can you hand me my shoes?”

“…Your shoes?”

“I accidentally took them off.”

Instead of handing them to me, Raphael knelt down and slipped them on my feet himself.

Somehow, showing my bare feet felt more embarrassing than I’d expected. At least they were clean.

I felt a little lightheaded from sitting for so long, so I steadied myself with a sip of cold coffee.

The coffee had long since lost its aroma and was filled with dust floating on its surface—not a particularly enjoyable experience.

“I’ll go get changed before I come down. You head down first, Marie.”

“Why change? You’re just wearing casual clothes.”

It was just a simple shirt that blocked the wind, with sleeves you could roll up if it got hot, and plain black pants.

What’s the problem?

“Well…the visitor is someone important.”

“You live in casual clothes despite spending your days with important people.”

“Even so, I’ll change.”

If that’s what he wanted, he could do as he pleased.

I’d seen him in uniform before—it looked good, but it seemed restrictive, as if his shoulders might burst from the strain of wielding a sword.

I awkwardly made my way out into the hall and descended the stairs.

A woman, no longer a girl, was sitting gracefully on a chair, her hands clasped in her lap.

Beautiful.

Of course someone like her could marry the prince.

If she wasn’t yet the empress, though, there was always the possibility she might meet an untimely end.

The stairs creaked with each step, a reminder that this wasn’t a fine house.

I must’ve looked ridiculous, my shoulders tensing with every creak.

“It’s been a long time! Should I call you Your Highness now?”

The golden-haired woman turned her gaze toward me.

With a face like that, it made perfect sense she’d end up with a prince.

“No, no! Just call me Olivia, like before!”

“Alright, Olivia.”

Rather than sitting down, I headed for the kitchen.

“It’s rather rude of me not to offer anything to drink when a guest arrives.”

“Oh, no! It’s fine! I came unannounced, so I can’t really blame you!”

Her outfit was simpler than I’d expected for a queen consort.

She must’ve worn something plain to sneak out unnoticed.

It’s not like those glittering dresses draped in jewels would make anyone feel at ease.

This clean white dress was much better.

“Is there a particular tea you’d like?

I’ve got a decent selection of leaves, so just let me know.”

“Oh, um…anything is fine.”

That’s the one response I hate hearing.

If she said that to a maid, would the maid lose her temper?

Still, Olivia didn’t strike me as the type to get angry if she wasn’t served something to her liking.

I brewed tea with a mix of peppermint and apple-flavored black tea leaves.

Not that I was going to drink it—I stuck with plain apple-scented tea.

I placed two teapots and four cups on a tray, carrying it to the table.

After setting it down, I pulled out a chair and joined her.

Olivia accepted the cup I handed her, taking a sip before pulling a faintly uncomfortable expression. She quickly masked it with an awkward smile.

“It’s not quite to your taste, is it?”

At least she’d helped herself to some fruit. Thankfully, she seemed to have swallowed the seeds. She must’ve been trained in proper etiquette at the palace.

I’d hate to clean up spat-out seeds.

Even more, I’d hate to make Raphael do it.

“Um, yes, well…maybe a little.”

“It’s just a little joke between old friends.”

Not that we’d seen each other in years.

Still, I used the word friend—I’d liked it back then.

I poured her a fresh cup of apple-scented tea and handed it over.

“So, what brings you here?”

At my question, Olivia’s face turned red, and suddenly, she burst out in an indignant tirade.

“You said we’d meet again, but after that day, you didn’t come looking for me for years!

I even went to the estate to find you, but you weren’t there! And when I spoke to the duke, all I got was ‘I can’t tell you’ or ‘It’s not possible to arrange a meeting’!”

And now she was crying.

Congratulations, Marie—you’ve managed to make the queen consort cry.

Well, I’m a count’s daughter, so maybe it’s fine.

They won’t behead me, right?

That day. Whatever happened that day, I couldn’t recall.

I’d worked hard to bury most of my childhood memories.

“And when I finally tracked down where you were a few days ago, I even sent a message through your knight, asking you to visit the palace! But you just ignored it, so here I am! Do you understand now!?”

“I get it,” I replied.

Olivia had been speaking so fast she hadn’t paused for breath, and now she downed her tea in one go.

The tea was still hot.

Predictably, she burned her tongue, spat it out—and straight onto my face.

At least she had the decency to look mortified, her face turning a deeper shade of red.

“Excuse me for a moment. I’ll wash up.”

“Ah, okay…”

After all these years, she hadn’t changed much.

Maybe that was why people found her so charming.

I quickly rinsed my face and returned to find Raphael descending from upstairs, now dressed in full uniform.

He glanced at Olivia with barely veiled suspicion.

What did he think she was going to do to me?

“Is the knight not joining us?” Olivia asked hesitantly.

Why was the queen consort tiptoeing around a knight?

“Should anything happen between you two, I must be prepared to intervene. My apologies, but I cannot sit.”

Ah, so that’s why he changed into his formal attire. A subtle power play, then.

Impressive. Though I couldn’t blame him—his usual casual clothes did leave something to be desired.

“I don’t know when you started taking such pride in guarding the house, but apparently, that’s the case,” I said.

I fetched some egg cookies I’d made earlier. Olivia looked at them skeptically before taking a bite, only to begin munching enthusiastically.

“So, is that all you came here for?”

“I was worried! No matter how much I searched, I couldn’t find you. And when I asked the duke, it felt like he was mourning a dead person with the way he spoke about you.

But here you are, alive and well!”

I was tempted to boast about kicking my opium habit but kept quiet—she probably didn’t even know I’d used it.

“Did the duke, or rather, the head of the house, have anything to say to me?”

“He said he was sorry and that he’d come find you someday.”

Bastard.

I didn’t want to hear any more.

“I see. So, are you planning to stay and chat, like in the old days?

It won’t be very fun—just a stiff knight and a deranged woman here.”

“I just wanted to see if you were alive.

And you…you stole my first kiss and then—!”

“And then what?”

I could guess what she wanted to say.

Blushing furiously, Olivia mumbled something about visiting again sometime and left in a hurry.

Not much of a lady anymore, is she?

That innocent, naïve girl probably couldn’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke.

Only after all the teacups were cold did I pull out a cigarette, lighting it and drawing in a long breath.

So, the duke wants to see me, does he?

Perhaps we will meet someday.

One thing’s for sure—I won’t be the one to seek him out.