COTE: Expelliarmis… Wait, Why Isn’t It Working?! (MTL)

Hypnosis Mission

After consulting Kiroku, a fake book that talked but had an unacceptable attitude, we asked about the government agency in charge of citizen registration.

According to the information it provided, it was the Japan Civil Administration Bureau, located in the center of the city, a place that sounded "normal" but made us feel full of risks.

After a while of discussion, the whole family decided to set out on the mission of registering new citizens.

As soon as I stepped out onto the street, I immediately felt overwhelmed. Tokyo was unlike any city in the magical world. Here, everything was crowded, crowded, and cramped.

The streets were like a river of people constantly moving, the means of transportation called cars rushed by, the traffic lights flashed continuously like a strange magical ritual that I had never seen before.

The buildings here were so tall that I had to crane my neck to see the top of them. They rose to the sky as if to defy gravity, but had a practical appearance, full of glass windows reflecting the bright sunlight.

In my world, castles and palaces were built in an elaborate architectural style, with magnificent domes and giant pillars that exuded grandeur.

Each building there was a living work of art, bearing the mark of ancient magic. And here? Everything was oriented towards practicality – square, simple, and efficient.

Without magic, the people here seemed to have put all their heart into building giant concrete blocks to demonstrate their development.

I glanced around, feeling like my whole family were lost travelers in a strange world. Before I could adjust, I saw passersby glancing at us with strange eyes, some even whispering to each other.

"What kind of cosplay are those people wearing? They look really cool!" A young man wearing glasses looked excited.

"They must be promoting some new anime." Another girl said as she held up a strange device that seemed to be a camera.

I shivered slightly. What cosplay? I had no idea what they were talking about, but clearly, my family's way of dressing didn't seem to fit the fashion standards of this world.

"Hey, son, it seems like we've become famous." My father stroked his chin, smiling smugly. "I didn't expect people here to have such an eye for aesthetics."

My mother shook her head. "No, Renji. They think we're just playing characters. Maybe they even think we're street performers."

Just then, a child ran up, eyes sparkling: "Uncle, are you really a wizard? Can I take a picture with you?"

My father looked at the child in confusion, then turned to me. "Hey, Kazuki, do you understand what's going on?"

I sighed. "Mom and Dad… it seems like we've been mistaken for people from the entertainment industry…"

............

We weaved through the streets, trying to act inconspicuous… until we almost ran straight into the middle of the fast-moving traffic.

"Oh my god!" I screamed as a truck screeched to a halt right in front of me. The driver stuck his head out the window, eyes wide: "Are you crazy!? Do you think you're the main character in an anime!?"

My father, still in shock, turned to me: "Kazuki, did you accidentally cast a teleportation spell? How did we almost get crushed like this!?"

My mother shook her head, pulling the whole family to the side of the road. "No, Renji, there's no magic here. We're just used to the wide streets of the magical world, where there aren't these four-wheeled monsters running around."

I gasped, looking at the crowded traffic in front of me. "In our world, magical vehicles mostly travel in the air, so the streets are very open and comfortable! Here, we almost became stains on the road!"

We tried to be more careful when crossing the streets, trying to act in a way that wouldn't attract too much attention...

Just as I recovered from the traffic shock, I noticed another strange thing: tiny black lumps were attached to the corners of the ceiling and the pillars outside, appearing almost everywhere!

They looked like invisible eyes that were silently monitoring every movement around. I squinted, trying to guess whether they were magical traps or mysterious surveillance creatures, but the more I looked, the more suspicious I became.

As soon as we entered the Civil Administration Building, the cameras "stared" like a swarm of inquisitive eyes, causing the whole family to fall into a state of hidden panic.

While my parents were confused about how to deal with it, I – Kazuki – quickly approached a policeman standing near the reception desk and innocently asked:

"Brother, what is that black box that's staring at me? Does it eat people?"

The policeman looked at me as if I had just stepped out of the Stone Age, tried to hold back his laughter and replied:

"It's a surveillance camera, to record security images in the building." The policeman explained while glancing at my whole family from head to toe, then smirked.

"And you guys came to correct the citizen registration? Why are you dressing up so elaborately? Is there a cosplay event happening recently that I don't know about?"

My whole family nodded in unison like chickens pecking at rice, trying to act as natural as possible. My father coughed, and my mother smiled brightly as if we were completely innocent.

The policeman didn't suspect a thing, and continued to instruct us on how to line up to get a number. We breathed a sigh of relief, but also realized that the original plan had a huge flaw: We couldn't let anyone remember our presence here.

"I can't believe it! Why should we believe in this crappy book!?" I exclaimed indignantly, pointing at Kiroku as if he had just betrayed my entire family.

My father crossed his arms, nodding philosophically: "I've always suspected him from the beginning. A talking book that claims to be a magical encyclopedia, but always has the attitude of an insurance consultant."

My mother shook her head, sighing sarcastically: "It's as reliable as those 'cure baldness in a week' flyers."

Kiroku immediately shook his head, protesting vehemently: "Hey hey, don't you know it's rude to insult an advanced magical object like me!? I provided information for free and you still treat me like this!"

I curled my lips: "Free? Then who was the one who almost crushed us by a truck because we didn't provide specific traffic information? If it's free and the quality is like that, then there's no need to do that!"

Kiroku immediately shook his head, as if he was angry at being looked down upon.

"You guys really don't know what's good for you! I've given you so much valuable information, and you dare to call me 'shit'!?"

"Do you know how much of an honor it is for a book of knowledge to be able to talk and interact with you? I'm not just a book, I'm a living masterpiece of magic!"

My father crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows: "Oh, a masterpiece? Does your masterpiece explain the transportation system in this world? Or do you prefer to see me get hit by a truck and fly?"

My mother put her hands on her hips, sneering: "That's right. If you really are a masterpiece, why didn't you warn us about the 'evil eyes' attached to the ceiling? Or did you intentionally let us discover it in the most stupid way possible?"

Suddenly, my mother turned to my father, her eyes flashing with murderous intent. "Wait, weren't you the one who created this damn thing, Renji!?"

"What the hell did you do to its brain? A talking book with such a severe lack of information is no different from a comic book without pictures!?"

My father was startled, took a step back, and raised his hands in defense. "Hey, calm down, Reika! I'm just the one who created its magical foundation! Its mind developed on its own, I didn't tell it to talk like an insurance agent!"

My mother gritted her teeth, "Oh, so it's your fault for trusting a scientist with a high IQ but a negative EQ!?"

Kiroku immediately shook as if he was defending himself, his tone full of argument: "Hey, hey, I'm just a book, not a map navigation device, and Renji hasn't added that function to me yet."

"I'm not a travel guide either! If you need detailed traffic information, you should ask a map! I'm a magic book, not a 'How to Survive in Japan' guidebook!"

The whole family gritted their teeth in unison, clenching their fists, looking like they were about to crush this hateful book on the spot.

But then we glanced around—others were still walking normally, some were even looking at us with curious eyes as if we were crazy.

I took a deep breath, trying to suppress the anger that was rising. "Alright, we're in a public place... otherwise, I swear I'll burn you right away, Kiroku!"

Kiroku coughed lightly, then replied proudly: "Very good, restraint is a virtue. But I suggest you respect me more, because I am the key to your survival in this world!"

So the whole family decided to "upgrade" the plan because of the surveillance cameras. Instead of just approaching one employee, we would hypnotize the entire building to ensure that even if we were recorded, no one would report anything unusual about us!

My father held his wand tightly, my mother stretched confidently, and I could only sigh at the prospect of turning the entire government agency into a national magic stage.

"Just this once, we will do the cleanest job!" My father declared, his tone no different from a mafia boss about to take action.

"Don't act like we're professionals, okay?" My mother shook her head, giggling with delight.

Immediately, my entire family pulled out their wands like a group of professional bank robbers. Without warning, my father waved his hand, chanting the spell as if this was a special operation. "Go to sleep!"

Boom!

The receptionist immediately collapsed onto the desk, snoring as if she had just worked overtime for a week straight. My mother used hypnosis more elegantly, just snapping her fingers, another employee stood frozen, eyes blank like a faulty NPC.

I looked around, then shrugged. "Well, it's my turn to show off!" I raised my wand, confidently chanting the spell. "Go to sleep!"

Boom!

I stared at the scene before me, wide-eyed—instead of falling asleep, my victim started muttering about his dream of becoming an idol, then confidently stood up... and danced?

Another employee, caught in my unstable spell, started talking about his family to a vase of flowers.

"Kazuki! You hypnotize people, not turn them into crazy people!?" My mother frowned, but continued her work.

Meanwhile, my father was extremely confident in his hypnotic abilities. But instead of making people immobile or fall asleep, he made them work twice as hard.

One employee who should have fallen asleep on his desk was instead burying his head in his keyboard, typing away professionally at an unbelievable speed.

Another stood up, put on his glasses seriously, and started arranging his documents neatly as if he had just found his purpose in life.

I stared, my mouth agape: "Dad! Did you just hypnotize them or activate the super labor mode!?"

My father shrugged, smiling wryly: "Eh... this is just a small magical accident. It's okay! They don't remember anything about us anymore! And look, at least their productivity has increased significantly!"

With a series of hypnotized employees in different states—some asleep, some dazed, some dancing uncontrollably—we stealthily headed towards the director's office, continuing our most illegal "legalization" of identities.

Seeing that the situation was stable, we headed straight to the director's office.

Sitting in the room was a serious middle-aged man, intently reading the file. Suddenly, the office door swung open with a powerful kick.

BOOM!

"Put your hands up! Oh, I mean, give me your citizen papers!" My mother, with a murderous smile, walked in like a notorious female boss who had just raided the police station. My father and I stood behind her, looking like two underlings in an organized robbery.

The chief jerked, the pen in his hand clattering on the table. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? WHO ARE YOU GUYS!? DO YOU KNOW THIS IS A GOVERNMENT AGENCY!? WHERE IS THE SECURITY!?"

But alas, all the guards were either hypnotized, or asleep, or working twice as hard for no apparent reason. My mother crossed her arms, raising her eyebrows confidently.

"Calm down, Chief. We just want a little formality. No one will be harmed—except your honor if you refuse our request."

The Chief looked around tremblingly, sweat pouring out like a stream. "Who are you guys!? Are you a new criminal group!? I swear I'll report you to the police... Oh, I mean, I'm a policeman!"

"Give us your legal citizenship papers... and forget about this."

The Chief immediately fell into a half-conscious state, muttering:

"You guys... citizenship... papers... um... there seems to be some kind of procedure... but... who cares anymore... Wait!?"

The director was suddenly startled, his hazy eyes gradually regaining some clarity. He glared at our family, his voice starting to tremble:

"You guys... WHO ARE YOU!? WHY AM I WORKING FOR YOU LIKE A ROBOT!?"

My mother patted his shoulder, smiling charmingly but her eyes were no different from a female crime boss.

"Calm down, director. You're just doing your noble duty of supporting the future citizens of the country!"

My father nodded: "That's right, we're just good people who want to integrate into this society legally! Do you want to be remembered as a hero who helps good people?"

Director Tanaka took a deep breath, his hands trembling as he took the papers, muttering:

"No... no way... This must be a dream... or I've just been scammed on an international level..."

"I've worked in this agency for 20 years, I've seen all kinds of people, from tax evaders to old men and women who mix up their papers, but this... what is this!?"

"A family of cosplay witches barged into my office, forcing me to work like a puppet... Could it be that I've gone crazy!? Or did I drink expired coffee this morning!?"

Tanaka swallowed, looking around the room. The scene was still the same. A creepy woman with her arms crossed, looking at him like she owned the place, a man smirking as if he was enjoying a great trick, and a boy who looked like he was the victim in this case, but no less suspicious.

All three of them raised their wands, pointing them at him as if they were reenacting a modern-day mafia movie. But instead of guns, what they held were three wooden sticks that looked like high-quality wooden sticks.

Tanaka swallowed, his eyes darting around. "I'm being… robbed? No, that can't be! They're not pointing guns at me… but wooden sticks! Who the hell do they think I am? A piece of grilled meat!?"

Sweat poured out of him as he realized that the three people in front of him had extremely serious eyes, as if they truly believed that those tiny sticks could threaten his life.

"Are they mentally ill!? Or is this a group of lost magicians!? But… but why can't my body move!? Mom, help me… I'm hypnotized!"

"Okay… calm down, Tanaka… I can explain this… ABSOLUTELY NO! DAMN IT, I'M HELPING A GROUP OF SCAMMERS CREATE FAKE IDENTITIES! AND THEY DON'T EVEN NEED TO BRIBE! THEY USE MAGIC! IT'S MAGIC! WHO WOULD BELIEVE IT!?"

My entire family gasped, eyes wide open as they looked at Chief Tanaka with expressions like they had just witnessed an alien.

He was sweating, his mouth was crooked, he was mumbling nonsense, his eyes were darting back and forth as if he was trying to escape from a nightmare.

If it weren't for our hypnosis, he would have screamed and run straight out of the room.

But he was still typing away at the keyboard, like a malfunctioning robot. He took a shaky breath, his voice trying to stay calm: "You guys... how do you want me to fill in the information...?"

Director Tanaka sighed, opened the form on the computer screen, then looked at my family, his hands on the keyboard. "Okay, now I need to enter your full names into the system. What are your full names?"

My father stepped forward first, clearing his throat with style. "Renji Kuzunoha."

My mother gently stroked her hair, smiling proudly. "Reika Himemiya."

I shrugged, there was nothing left to hide. "Kazuki Kuzunoha."

The director tapped away on the keyboard, but then paused, frowning. "Wait... This doesn't sound like a Japanese name, does it?"

I broke out in a cold sweat, but my mother immediately smiled brightly, putting her arm around my shoulder confidently. "Our family has international roots! Just write it like that!"

Tanaka raised his eyebrows, but then just sighed, mumbled, "Never mind, it's none of my business..." and continued typing.

My mother curled her lips, crossing her arms confidently. "We're from Tokyo, born and raised here. Just write... Shinjuku Ward. Sounds reasonable, right?"

My father nodded, "That's right, in a bustling place like Shinjuku, even if a few more people suddenly appeared, no one would question it. And the home address? Write it as..."

He suddenly stopped, frowned at my mother, then looked at me. "Wait, where... where are we living?"

The whole family froze, looking at each other as if they had just been hit by a collective memory shock. An awkward silence filled the room.

"Damn, we forgot where we live!" I whispered in panic.

"Kiroku!" My mother immediately pulled out the talking book, holding it up as if it were the ultimate savior. "Tell me, where do we live!?"

Kiroku shook violently, then replied in a sarcastic tone: "Amazing! An entire family forgot their home address! I wonder how you guys survived until now!"

Chief Tanaka looked at the scene without saying a word. A book... talking? No, he was definitely hallucinating. This wasn't reality, this was a nightmare!

"Oh my god... I'm really going crazy!" He muttered, holding his head in his hands. "A family of cosplaying witches, a talking book, and now I'm giving them legal papers!? Impossible!"

Tanaka let out a shaky sigh, his hands flying over the keyboard, typing in information unconsciously. "Hometown Tokyo... born in Shinjuku... Currently living in Okutama Ward, 23-5, Hikawa Street... A remote area with lots of forests and mountains, very few people passing by... Oh my god, what the hell am I doing!?"

Director Tanaka sighed, clacking away on the keyboard. "Alright, now I need to enter your ages into the system. Kazuki, how old are you?"

"22." I answered immediately.

The director stared at me, but then made a note on the file. "Okay, what about Mr. Renji?"

"172 years old."

Click.

The sound of the keyboard stopped abruptly. Tanaka slowly raised his head, his eyes blank as he looked at my father. "What did you just say?"

My father nodded in confirmation: "Yes, I am 172 years old. And my wife, Reika, is 153 years old."

The room fell into a deadly silence.

Director Tanaka's face paled, trembling as he wiped his sweat with his hand. "Wait... am I filling out paperwork for a human...?"

At that moment, Kiroku shook, interrupting with a disgruntled tone: "Calm down, old man. This isn't the first time this world has had problems with species differences. Let me explain."

The director's eyes widened. "Wha... that book just talked!?"

Kiroku hovered, clearing his throat: "Listen, in the magical world, the average human lifespan is five times longer than in this world. Biological development is also slower. For example, a 12-year-old child in our world is equivalent to a 5-year-old child here."

The director's eyes widened, his mind spinning. "In other words... 172 years old in the other world would be equivalent to... here?"

Kiroku quickly calculated, then calmly replied: "About 30 years old by Earth standards. Reika would be 25 years old, Kazuki would be 11 years old."

Tanaka gasped, wiping the sweat from his forehead with a towel. "Then... then why didn't you say so from the beginning!?" He angrily pounded on the table. "You guys almost gave me a heart attack!"

I shrugged. "You didn't ask?"

He dropped his hands, his eyes vacant as if he had lost all faith in life. "It's over... I'll submit my resignation tomorrow... then go back to my hometown to raise fish and grow more vegetables..."

Chief Tanaka looked at them as if he had just heard a huge conspiracy. "Do you guys realize that this is a legal identity!?"

I patted him on the shoulder, smiling innocently: "That's right. And if it's legal, no one will check it, right?"

My whole family turned to look at Tanaka expectantly. "Where are our ID cards?"

Chief Tanaka, who had lost all faith in life, glared at us, his face red with anger. "WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? AN INSTANT CARD-GENERATING MACHINE!?"

He slammed his fist on the table, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Identification cards aren't something that can appear instantly! We have to send the information to the government factory, print it, check it, and then mail it back! The process takes about a week!"

My father scratched his head, looking at my mother: "Well, it doesn't seem like magic, does it?"

My mother shrugged. "At least it's legal."

Tanaka sighed, checking the calendar on the screen. "Today is Tuesday, September 28, 2010. That means you won't get your identification cards in the mail until October 5. Now GET OUT OF ME!"

The respected chief was still in a daze, as if he had just had a high-level negotiation with an alien. Before he could fully wake up and ask any more questions, my mother winked at my father, then gently waved her wand.

"Good night, chief. You did a great job!"

BOOM!

Chief Tanaka barely managed to mumble "W-wait...!" before collapsing onto the table like a felled tree. His snores rang out after only three seconds, creating a mournful sound of a man who had just lost all hope in life.

I looked at my parents, then at the unconscious chief, and swallowed. "Do we really need to take him down so neatly...?"

My father shrugged: "Do you want to let him wake up and call the police?"

My mother clapped her hands: "Now that all the procedures are done, let's run away!"

Seeing the satisfactory result, my parents exchanged triumphant "perverted" looks - my mother smiled like a financial tycoon who had just completed an illegal investment deal, while my father frowned, looking no different from a leader of an underground organization who had just completed the deal of the century.

As for me, standing in the middle of the family's "hypnosis convention", I couldn't help but wonder:

"Did we just commit a national identity robbery?" But after all, the legal papers were in place, and we hadn't been caught yet, so it was a success!

Now, 'Let's Run!'

As we left the building, the whole family still kept their calm expressions like true citizens. Behind us, the entire office system was gradually returning to normal, those who had just been hypnotized would not remember what had happened.

Suddenly, Kiroku shook his head and reminded: "Hey, the surveillance cameras are still there! If you don't want your images to be permanently recorded in the security database, you'd better stop by the surveillance room and deal with it."

The whole family was stunned. My father frowned: "Damn, I almost forgot! Let's go!"

We sneaked to the surveillance room, where a policeman was lying on the table, clearly still affected by the initial hypnosis. My mother clicked her tongue, walked closer, and… kicked his chair.

"Get up, stop being lazy!" she shouted.

The policeman jerked, looked up with an extremely bewildered expression. "H-Huh!? I… I fell asleep!? Am I fired!?"

My mother didn't bother to answer, but immediately chanted a hypnotic spell. His eyes were cloudy, his head nodding like a chicken about to fall asleep.

"Listen, buddy." My mother squinted, her voice sweet but dangerous. "You will open the surveillance system, erase all the video tapes from today, especially the ones with us. Is that clear?"

"Understood… sir…" the policeman muttered, then started working on the computer like a diligent IT employee.

A moment later, the screen displayed a message that the data was deleted successfully. My mother clapped her hands, satisfied: "Good job! Now go back to sleep!"

And so the policeman fell back on the table, sleeping soundly as if nothing had happened.

My father waved his hand. "Great! Now we really don't leave any traces!"

I still felt a little off, but before I could say anything, my mother patted me on the shoulder, smiling: "Only if we get caught!"

"I still feel a little off," I muttered.

"Only if we get caught!" My mother patted me on the shoulder and smiled.

As I stepped out onto the main street, I was both excited and nervous. My family had done something that no one else would have thought of – using magic to "circumvent the law" in a way that was... extremely creative.

Luckily, the Registry Office was pretty empty today because we arrived very early, right when they opened. This helped things go more smoothly without attracting too much attention.

And so, today, we officially became "legal Japanese citizens", although the way we achieved this identity was a little... not so legal.

.................

The next day, news of a strange event at the Japan Civil Administration Bureau was all over the morning news.

Reporters have repeatedly reported that the entire staff here appears to be experiencing a serious "mental crisis."

Initial reports say that many employees were found in extremely strange states—some sitting there with blank stares as if they had seen through the universe, others muttering nonsense about "a family of wizards," "mind-controlling wands," and "a talking book."

Even more serious, some suddenly stood up and danced in the middle of the office as if they were participating in a nonexistent musical.

"We suspect that the employees have contracted a strange infectious disease caused by overwork, leading to extreme psychological stress."

"Currently, psychologists are investigating the exact cause," a government spokesperson said at an emergency press conference.

In a corner of the hospital, Chief Tanaka sat on a hospital bed with lifeless eyes, surrounded by doctors and reporters. When asked about the incident at the Civil Administration Bureau, he only shook his head repeatedly, muttering nonsense.

"Witches... a whole family of witches... mind-controlling wands... a talking book... Am I crazy? No! It's the world that's crazy!"

A reporter brought the microphone closer, trying to ask: "Can you describe what happened in more detail? How did you get into this state?"

Tanaka suddenly burst into laughter, then immediately turned to tears. "I don't know! I don't know anything! Was it a dream? A collective hallucination? Or did I work myself into a coma!?"

He held his head, trembling. "I swear, as soon as I get out of here, I will write a resignation letter. I can't stand it another day! I will go back to my hometown to raise fish and grow vegetables! Never again will I have anything to do with papers, records or anything related to identity!"

Later, when the doctors finished treating the patients, they were extremely confused by a series of strange symptoms that they had never seen before. After many analysis meetings, they came to the conclusion that this was a rare psychological syndrome caused by extreme stress, and decided to name it "Witch Family Syndrome".

A doctor at the press conference shared: "Patients with this syndrome often have highly paranoid symptoms, constantly mentioning a family of witches with the ability to control the mind, a talking book, and a large-scale conspiracy to change identities. Some cases also tend to dance or overwork uncontrollably. This is a syndrome that has never been recorded before, and we will continue to research to better understand its cause."

.........................

Suspicious Real Estate Office and Criminal Family

After returning home, my family immediately embarked on a plan... well, maybe not entirely legal. Without anyone telling us, we all pulled the curtains shut, locked the doors, and left only a few magical lights glowing as if we were preparing for a major heist.

"Alright, team, let's start production!" My father spoke with authority, looking no different from a crime boss.

"Kazuki, you're in charge of creating the materials! Renji, you're in charge of printing! As for you, your ultimate task is to cast illusions to make each bill look as real as possible!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "In other words, we're opening a counterfeit money printing factory right at home... Sounds reasonable, right!?"

Kiroku shook his head, his tone full of sarcasm: "How admirable! A powerful family from the magical world, instead of conquering humanity, chose the path of becoming a counterfeit money printing gang!"

My mother glared at the book, sneering: "Be quiet, Kiroku! You're an accomplice!"

And so, the Kuzunoha family's "factory" officially started operating. I waved my hand, creating stacks of special papers using magic according to Kiroku's instructions. But, as usual, my magic had a little "glitch".

BAM!

A stack of papers suddenly... grew legs, then darted across the room like a pack of mice running away from cats. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! CATCH THEM!" I shouted, while my parents could only stare at the "free" pile of papers running around the house.

"Kazuki! Are you creating paper or magical creatures!?" My father yelled, trying to chase after a stack of papers that were climbing up the bookshelf.

"It was an accident! It was an accident!" I defended myself, but no one believed me.

My mother shook her head and sighed, "We're making counterfeit money, not raising paper pets, Kazuki!"

Finally, after a chaotic chase, we managed to capture the "living bills" and make them lie still on the printing table.

My father shook his head in frustration, continuing his printing work, while my mother cast illusions to make each bill look as real as possible, hoping that this time they wouldn't "rebel" again.

"Perfect!" My mother looked at a newly created stack of bills, smiling smugly. "If you look at it, even a counterfeit money expert wouldn't be able to tell!"

My father nodded, crossing his arms proudly. "That's great! We're not just magicians, we're also financial artists!"

I held my head. "My family is really becoming a real criminal gang...!"

Kiroku coughed, his voice filled with philosophy: "Anyway, the amount of money you counterfeited is too small to affect the economy of this country. But legally, this is still an illegal act."

"I advise you to find a way to earn money honestly if you don't want to become the first wanted family in another world in the history of magic."

My family looked at each other, silent for three seconds, then continued working as if they had not heard anything.

After many hours of hard work, my family sat down on the floor, sweating profusely, in front of them was a mountain of counterfeit money so high that it blocked their vision.

"Five hundred million Japanese yen! We really did it!" My father exclaimed proudly, his hands trembling as he held the stack of money up to the light.

My mother rubbed her wrists, sighing: "Counting money until my eyes are blurry! I didn't expect being a financial criminal to be this hard!"

I rolled onto the floor, my eyes glazed over, my hands numb. "I didn't expect counting money to be such a torture... Mom and Dad, can we hire someone to count money?"

Kiroku shook his head and laughed mockingly: "So, do you regret choosing this path? Did you think counterfeiting money was easy? It turns out it's harder than working for a salary!"

My father wiped his sweat, his face still triumphant: "No, I don't regret it! This is the fruit of our labor, the creation of magic!"

My mother nodded, her eyes shining: "That's right! But next time, we should think of a way that's less tiring for our hands... for example... a magic that counts money by itself?"

My family looked at each other, then looked at the pile of money in front of us. I sighed: "Our family... is really becoming a professional criminal organization..."

Just as we were still holding our heads in exhaustion, Kiroku suddenly shook suspiciously.

"Actually... if you want to count money faster, I have a much simpler way."

The whole family immediately turned around, their eyes shining. "TELL ME NOW!"

Kiroku slowly replied, "Just throw all the money into a space storage device and place it on me, and I will automatically count each coin accurately. No need to strain your hands, no need to strain your eyes."

Three seconds of silence.

Then...

"CAN YOU DO THIS FROM THE BEGINNING WITHOUT SAYING!?" I shouted, almost slamming the book on the table.

My mother gritted her teeth, her eyes filled with murderous intent: "So I just spent hours counting money in agony, while you only needed to do a simple math problem in a second!?"

My father trembled, trying to stay calm but still couldn't hide his disappointment. "I feel deeply betrayed... Like I just took a difficult test and found out the answer was right on the next page."

Kiroku shook slightly, his tone innocent: "Then why did you ask me?"

My entire family clenched their fists, ready to turn Kiroku into ashes on the spot.

I took a deep breath, gritting my teeth: "Alright, Kiroku, I'll let it go this time. But if you keep anything useful hidden and don't tell me, I SWEAR to use you to light a fire to cook!"

Kiroku shook slightly, as if sensing the murderous aura coming from the three of us. "H-Ha ha... of course! I'll be more honest!"

After taking a magical bath, our entire family decided that it was time to give up our overly conspicuous witch robes. After all, we had to properly blend into this world.

By observing the clothes of passersby and with Kiroku's "guidance" (of course, with an unacceptably condescending attitude), we were able to choose the most suitable costumes.

The process of creating the costumes was no less grandiose than an ancient ritual. I – Kazuki – waved my hand and created each piece of cloth with the highest quality material imaginable using magic. But, of course, as usual, my magic malfunctioned.

BOOM!

A piece of cloth suddenly fluttered, then wrapped itself around me like a giant python. "AAAAAAAH! SAVE ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE BY MY OWN CLOTHES!"

My father sighed, grabbed his wand, and dispelled the faulty magic. "Kazuki, are you creating cloth or summoning evil spirits!?"

My mother folded her arms, laughing with delight: "At least you have the talent to create... in an undesirable way."

After controlling the pile of cloth, my father continued the process of sewing with magic professionally. Under each delicate seam, the clothes gradually took shape, perfectly fitting and luxurious.

My mother was the final touch, adding small but important details. A shiny button on my father's vest, a delicate trim on my grandmother's dress, and a magical finishing touch to make them look more "expensive."

We stood in front of the mirror, admiring our work, and I couldn't help but admit – we looked completely different. A noble family straight out of a rich novel.

My father wore a shiny black suit, looking like a powerful businessman or... a shadowy figure in the financial world. My mother wore an elegant, noble outfit like a rich lady out of a novel. As for me, Kazuki, wore a youthful, neat suit, looking like a young master born into luxury.

"Wow, look, look! We really look very fashionable!" My father stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his tie, smiling smugly.

"Yeah, fashionable. Only... are any of us really rich?" I muttered.

My mother laughed, crossing her arms confidently: "Whether you're rich or not doesn't matter! What matters is your temperament! We just need to walk straight, hold our heads high, and no one will dare to doubt us!"

I sighed, glancing at Kiroku who was hovering to the side. "Do I need to ask you if this way of dressing is really appropriate?"

Kiroku shook slightly, his tone full of sarcasm: "I won't lie, you guys look like a wealthy family straight out of a TV drama. But hey, at least it's better than three medieval witches lost in Tokyo, right?"

After getting ready, my whole family set off to the real estate agency following Kiroku's instructions. But as soon as we saw the place, we immediately cursed this crappy book.

"WHAT IS THIS!? This is a real estate agency!?" I pointed at the dilapidated building in front of me, its roof tiles chipped, its sign hanging at an angle, looking no different from a long-abandoned shop.

My mother crossed her arms, glaring at Kiroku. "You said this is the most prestigious place in the area?"

Kiroku shook slightly, his voice calm: "This information was last updated 20 years ago. There may be some minor changes."

"HA! TWENTY YEARS!?" My father was startled. "Do you know how many things can happen in 20 years!?"

Kiroku continued to explain in a condescending manner: "Normally, there will be magical adventurers who collect information from other worlds, and the data we have about Earth is from the last update. No one thought of sending more people here to check it again."

I held my head. "So we're trusting an expired encyclopedia!?"

"It's just... a little old." Kiroku replied nonchalantly.

I gritted my teeth, intending to put it away in a corner so it wouldn't be an eyesore, when my father patted me on the shoulder: "Come on, since we're here anyway, let's go in and see. Maybe it'll still work."

We walked into the office, where a middle-aged man was sitting behind the counter. He seemed to be dozing off, his eyes were hazy as if he was fed up with life.

But as soon as he saw a customer enter, his eyes lit up as if he had just won the lottery. "Oh! A customer!? Really a customer!? Welcome! Welcome! Please sit! Please sit!"

My whole family looked at each other, wondering if this was really a trustworthy place. But whatever, as long as we could buy a house without any trouble, that was fine!

The middle-aged man, who introduced himself as Takahashi, continued to talk about various real estate properties, from high-end apartments to small houses in the suburbs.

But as soon as my mother interrupted and asked directly, "We want to buy the vacant land on the only hill in Okutama Ward."

The broker immediately stopped, frowning at my mother in surprise. "That land? You mean the vacant land that has been neglected for the past few years?"

My father and I looked at each other, trying to hold back our laughter. Obviously he didn't know that we had already built a magnificent villa on it.

The broker sighed, leaned back in his chair, and seemed to be remembering something.

"That land actually had an owner, but he passed away a long time ago. His children weren't very interested in keeping the ancestral land, so they decided to put it up for sale a long time ago, but no one wanted to buy it because it was too far from the city center."

"In the end, the whole family immigrated to America, leaving the land there for so many years."

I rested my chin on my hand, frowning in thought. "So that means... legally, it's still for sale?"

The broker nodded. "That's right! If you want to buy it, I can help you complete the paperwork. Honestly, I thought I would never be able to sell this land!"

He laughed, looking extremely excited as if he had finally gotten rid of a difficult piece of inventory.

My mother smiled brightly and nodded. "That's great! We want to buy it right away!"

Takahashi blinked, staring at the strange family before him. They were dressed like aristocrats, but they seemed to have absolutely no understanding of the real estate market. This was a godsend!

"This piece of land is really rare, the feng shui is good, the space is spacious, and the development potential is huge! Therefore, the price is... 50 million yen!"

He blurted out a number that he himself found absurd, but whatever, let's give it a try.

In reality, Takahashi knew that the real value of this piece of land was less than 10 million yen. He thought to himself:

"They will definitely bargain down to 20 million. If I'm lucky, I might even be able to force them to settle on 15 million."

But then, the unthinkable happened.

The parents looked at each other, their eyes sparkling as if they had just seen a huge bargain.

"50 million yen? Too cheap!" The father nodded enthusiastically.

"I thought it would be more expensive! Such a large plot of land for only that price? What a profitable deal!" The mother smiled brightly.

Takahashi almost dropped the pen in his hand.

"Huh...!?" He gasped, trying to control his expression so as not to burst out laughing hysterically. "A-Aha ha ha! You really have good eyes! Then let's sign the contract right away!"

He quickly pulled out the papers, his hands shaking with joy. Oh my god, I can't believe it! A trick easier than eating cake! He had closed the most lucrative deal of his career!

While Takahashi was grinning and thinking about his early retirement, his family happily signed the contract, completely unaware that they had just been "tricked" so spectacularly.

Takahashi held the pen to sign the contract, his hands still shaking with excitement. In his mind, the prospect of a new life opened up with excitement.

"I'm going to retire early! I'm going to travel around the world! Paris, New York, Maldives! I'll buy a shiny sports car, a luxurious penthouse, and live like a king!"

Takahashi could hardly believe his luck. Not only did he make a huge profit on a piece of land that no one wanted to buy, but he also had the chance to get out of this boring job forever.

"I'll close this office as soon as I get the money! There's no reason to stay in this godforsaken place anymore! No more days of waiting for customers in vain, no more months of losing money because I can't sell anything!"

He almost burst out laughing but tried to keep his face professional. "Ahem, great! You guys are my dream clients! Let's hurry up and finish the paperwork!"

He almost burst out laughing but tried to keep his face professional. "Ahem, great! You guys are my dream clients! Then let's quickly complete the procedure!"

While Takahashi was intoxicated by the sudden wealth, the Kuzunoha family happily signed the contract, completely unaware that they had just become the "victims" of the most profitable deal in the history of Japanese real estate.

My father glanced at Takahashi, then quietly left the room and went outside. After finding a hidden corner, he discreetly reached into his space ring, gently took out a cloth bag, and skillfully stuffed it with money. After checking it again, he turned back, placing the bag of money on the table with a confident smile.

"Here, 50 million yen as agreed."

Takahashi stared at the bag, his eyes shining like car headlights. He carefully opened the bag, saw thick stacks of money inside, and could not contain his joy. "Perfect! Perfect!"

After paying and completing the procedures, my family had just walked out of the brokerage office when suddenly from behind us came a wild, excited scream.

"I'M FREE! I'VE FINALLY ESCAPE THIS FUCKIN' PLACE! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT SOMEONE ON THIS WORLD WOULD PAY FIVE TIMES THE PRICE!!! HAHAHAHHA......."

My whole family turned around, just in time to see Takahashi with a smile as bright as the dawn, quickly slamming the door of the brokerage office, hanging a "Ceased Business" sign, and jumping into his old car.

He stepped on the gas pedal at full speed, speeding away as if he was running away from a curse that had bound him for so many years.

I blinked, looked at my parents, then bent down to look at the contract again.

My mother frowned: "Wait... did we just buy a bad deal?"

My father was silent for a moment, then sighed, rubbing his temples. "Yeah... it seems so. But anyway, we have a house, right?"

My mother gritted her teeth, holding the contract in her hand. "UNBELIEVABLE! WE JUST PAID FIVE TIMES THE REAL PRICE OF THIS PIECE OF LAND! NO ONE HAS EVER DARED TO FOOL ME LIKE THIS!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRAAAAAA"