Genshin Impact: I Opened Blind Boxes in Liyue

The morning mist carried the salty tang of the sea as Ling Feng crouched in front of the ruins of his shop on Ritou's docks. His fingers traced the gilded blind box Yae Miko had shoved into his hands. The box was crudely engraved with the words **"Grand Narukami Shrine Special Edition"** and had a greasy piece of fried tofu stuck in the corner. 

"That fox definitely planted a trap in here..." he muttered, prying open the lid. A puff of pink smoke exploded in his face, making him cough violently. When the smoke cleared, the box contained a chibi Raiden Shogun doll wearing a tengu mask, holding a sign that read: **"Grand Opening! Comes with the Guuji's Love~"** 

"Mr. Ling—" 

A golden blur tackled him from behind, and Ling Feng instinctively turned, only to be caught in a bear hug by Lumine. The Traveler was clutching a half-eaten Fisherman's Toast, its grease smearing all over his new Liyue-style robe. "I heard the Tenryou Commission trashed your shop! Need this Honorary Knight to avenge you?" 

Ling Feng looked down at the grease stain on his chest, his eye twitching. "By 'help,' do you mean assassinating my clothes with food?" 

"Hey, this is a lucky kiss from Mondstadt!" Lumine grinned, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe the stain, only to spread the sauce further. "Look! Doesn't it resemble Razor's abstract wolf totem in Wolvendom?" 

Sayu rolled down from the roof like a ball, landing neatly between them. "Mr. Ling, Kujou Sara's coming this way with her troops! I can smell burnt tengu feathers..." 

Before she could finish, the sound of a thunder arrow slicing through the air reached them. Ling Feng reflexively raised the blind box as a shield— 

"Now is the time for dessert!" 

The Shogun doll inside sprang to life, slashing the arrow in half with its naginata while shoving a tri-colored dango from the sample shelf into Kujou Sara's mouth. In the stunned silence, the doll tilted its head. "Energy replenished. Mission complete." 

Kujou Sara chewed the dango, her ears turning red. "Y-Your Excellency?! How could you..." 

"This is a special doll made by Guuji Yae, preloaded with 300 Shogun quotes," Ling Feng explained, holding up the manual and barely suppressing a laugh. "By the way, buy ten dessert-themed blind boxes and get one free." 

"Your shop looks worse than a Hilichurl camp!" Lumine planted her hands on her hips, surveying the ruins before suddenly drawing her Dull Blade and stabbing it into the ground. "Watch this Mondstadt-style renovation!" 

The blade glowed with golden light, and Anemo energy sent planks and bricks flying everywhere. Ling Feng ducked as a shelf whizzed past his nose. "Is this renovation or demolition?!" 

Five minutes later, a brand-new shop stood in place—if one ignored the crooked sign reading **"Otherworldly Oddities"** and the second-floor balcony twisted into an *Attack on Titan* ODM gear sculpture. 

"How's that?" Lumine flicked her bangs proudly. "I even left you a couple's lookout!" 

Ling Feng stared at the heart-shaped arrangement of Windwheel Asters on the balcony, sighing deeply. "You call that a lookout? Kujou Sara would charge me with treason on the spot..." 

"Not satisfied? Let me change it!" Lumine's fingertips crackled with Electro energy. 

"No! This is perfect! Absolutely perfect!" Ling Feng grabbed her wrist, and both froze. Morning light filtered through the crooked planks, illuminating Lumine's reddening ears. He quickly let go. "I mean... it's very artistic." 

While the two were distracted, Sayu sneaked into the storeroom, drooling over the "Sleep Aid" blind boxes. Her tiny paw had just touched a lid when the entire shelf started dancing to *Gokuraku Jodo*, the bottles of slime condensate twisting into a cheerleading squad. 

"Mr. Ling! Your blind boxes are alive!" Sayu shrieked, stuck to the wall by slime like a spooked gecko. 

Lumine rushed in and burst out laughing. "Are you cosplaying a cursed corpse from *Jujutsu Kaisen*?" 

"Stop laughing! Get me down!" Sayu's tail flailed. "I'll trade you Shuumatsuban intel! Like how Lord Ayato secretly collects *Autumn Leaves, Sword in Hand*..." 

Ling Feng walked in holding a Kamera. "Miss Sayu, you wouldn't want the Yashiro Commissioner to hear about this, would you?" 

"You're ganging up on a ninja!" Sayu puffed up like an *Angry Birds* blowfish. "I'm telling Sangonomiya!" 

By evening, the shop was filled with the aroma of fried tofu. Yae Miko poked her head out of a blind box, her tail holding the wreckage of the "couple's lookout" Lumine had destroyed. "My, my, playing so boldly right after opening?" 

Lumine stepped protectively in front of Ling Feng. "This fox is definitely here to extort money!" 

"I came to deliver a grand opening gift~" Miko flicked out a deed. "The shop next door is half-price, but—" Her fingertips sparked with Electro, and the shop sign turned neon pink. "You'll owe me 30% of your profits as a beauty fee~" 

Ling Feng stared at the *Genshin Impact* fanart-style sign, feeling faint. "Is this a beauty fee or emotional damage compensation?" 

Lumine suddenly hooked her arm through his. "Our Mr. Ling sells art, not himself! No money, no life... and no deals!" 

Miko's eyes narrowed as she studied the two, then she smiled even brighter. "Then let's settle the debt with a 'special edition' blind box~" She tossed out a heart-shaped box. "Open it for a surprise~" 

The lid popped open, and pink smoke engulfed the shop. When it cleared, Ling Feng and Lumine's collars were tied into a love knot, Sayu had sprouted Cupid wings and was being chased by Kujou Sara with a bow, and the box's bottom read: **"Yae Publishing House Special: Love Option Blind Box."** 

"Miko, you're dead meat!!!" 

"Ah, youth~" The Guuji's laughter drifted toward Tenshukaku, mingling with the scent of fried tofu. In the twilight, the freshly painted sign glowed faintly, reflecting the two's flushed cheeks and still-tied collars. 

Late at night, Ling Feng was alone in the storeroom, tidying up after Lumine's "renovation." Moonlight filtered through the crooked planks, illuminating a gilded blind box—the "special edition" Miko had given him that morning. A note was tucked underneath: **"Leyline Memory Extract: Ei and Makoto's Afternoon Tea, 500 Years Ago."** 

"So you hide treasures too, huh?" 

Lumine's voice came from behind, and Ling Feng fumbled, sending the box rolling to her feet. Both bent down to pick it up, their foreheads colliding with a *thunk*. 

"Y-you copied me!" 

"You copied me first!" 

As they argued, golden light spilled from the box. A scene from 500 years ago unfolded in the moonlight: Makoto feeding dango to Ei, while Saiguu sneakily added three spoonfuls of sugar to their tea. Lumine chuckled. "I never knew the Shogun could be so cute." 

Ling Feng glanced at her. The Traveler's profile was bathed in soft golden light, her eyes reflecting the warmth of a bygone era. Without thinking, he blurted out, "You're... pretty cute too." 

"Huh?!" Lumine whipped her head around, her hair brushing his nose. "Did you eat the wrong dessert or something?" 

"I-I meant the Shogun in the memory!" Ling Feng knocked over a shelf in his panic, and Sayu's hidden stash of dango rained down. The two tumbled into a *Tom and Jerry*-style chaos, ending up buried under a pile of snacks with only their red ears poking out.