HP:per aspera

November 1994

Lilith's hopes for a good sleep were crushed by haunting dreams that made her toss and turn all night. She woke up even more exhausted. She almost slept through all her morning classes if it wasn't for Cedric who shared those classes with her and nudged her every time he saw her eyes closing. They didn't joke around as always. There was a slight tension between them, and Cedric knew not to push her buttons. His classmates, uncharacteristically to Hufflepuffs, chose to bash Harry Potter at every turn and swarmed Cedric in masses, which didn't help their situation. They needed to talk.

That opportunity came when they both had a free period and found themselves in the kitchens. They came there for a reason. Not many people knew about the secret entrance and the house-elves were lovely and discreet. As Cedric munched on one of the cookies the house-elves just finished baking, and Lilith emptied her third cup of coffee in a row, he finally gathered the courage to speak.

"Look, I'm sorry." he sighed and avoided her eyes. "But I made that decision."

"Sorry? You kind of blindsided me on that decision of yours, Ced." Lilith raised her eyebrow, her hands hugging the mug in front of her.

"I told you about it."

"No, you said you only thought about it, not that you definitively decided." Cedric groaned.

"It was a last-minute decision, okay? Lili," he sighed and finally looked her in the eye. "I thought about it, yes, for a very long time. Do you know how much this means to me? To Hufflepuff? I love my house, Lili, I do, but everybody makes fun of us. You know the names they call us. I wanted to do something meaningful. To lift my house's spirits." Lilith bit her lip.

"So it's about pride?"

"Technically, yes. But it's a challenge for me personally. I want to push my limits, I want to challenge myself."

"I get that but does it have to be a deadly challenge?" Cedric frowned at her remark.

"How is this so different from what you do?" Lilith stared at Cedric, the wind knocked out of her lungs. She could see the shock in his eyes, regret, his mouth hanging slightly open. "Sorry, I didn't mean that," he whispered, " that was a low blow." Lilith shook her head, feeling a pang in her chest at Cedric's words. What hurt the most was the fact that he was right.

"No, you did. But it's okay," she sighed and hugged the mug tighter."I'm a hypocrite. And I know that." she almost whispered ad looked into Cedric's eyes. "I'm just worried, Ced. I mean, what are the odds that you and Fleur decide to enter and that bloody Goblet chooses both of you?" she chuckled dryly. "It feels like a bad joke." she sipped her coffee, enjoying the calming effect of caffeine entering her system. Cedric gave her a sad smile, leaned over and squeezed her hand before pulling back.

"I will be alright, Lili. And Fleur too. We can tap out if the task becomes too much. And Dumbledore will be there, he won't let anything happen to us." she didn't know if it was his tone or his words but it seemed to calm her down a little bit.

"I know, but I won't stop worrying until after this tournament is over." Cedric chuckled at her grumpy response.

"I'm aware of that."

"Good." she smirked and took another sip. "Anyway, I will be hanging out with Fleur tomorrow, catching up. Want to join us?" Cedric raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"I won't be third-wheeling, right?" she kicked him under the table.

"Fleur and I agreed that that fling was a weird, stupid, and impulse decision that shouldn't have happened so we're back to being friends. Good friends."

"Good, at least we have that in common." Cedric shrugged approvingly at her answer. Lilith narrowed her eyes at his but smiled. She needed them, and the thought of them becoming friends warmed her heart.

She and Cedric parted ways no longer after. Lilith still had a free period while he had Charms so it left her all alone in the corridor. As she was nearing the staircase, she decided to head to the library but a sudden commotion coming from the dungeons below caught her interest. Instead of heading up the stairs, she decided to head down to see what was happening. She heard some yelling and loud voices, and suddenly she heard two voices calling out at once.

"Funnunculus!"

"Densaugeo!"

"Hermione!"

She quickened her pace as she heard the last yell, her heart beating faster than before, and finally arrived at the scene. Gryffindors and Slytherins were standing in front of the Potions classroom watching huddled around somebody. Nobody seemed to notice her so far. But she could see two drawn wands. She acted on instinct.

"Protego!" As a large blue shield appeared between the two wands, the students finally noticed her and parted to make a way for her. Some of them glancing at the Prefect badge pinned on her robes, some avoiding her gaze altogether. Her sudden appearance made everything stop and she could finally see what was happening. At the centre stage stood Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter who obviously were the main actors in this scene but she could also see Gregory Goyle who appeared to be struck by a jinx, and Hermione who was also caught in the crossfire. She could see every student in the corridor staring at her as she put on her hard facade, hiding any feeling behind it, and glared at the two students.

"What in Merlin's name did I just walk into?" she almost growled and could see the students around her shrink. Harry looked surprised while Draco's face lost almost all colour and his arrogant smirk disappeared. She walked towards them, glaring at each one of them. Then she looked at the damage they caused to the other students.

"Crabbe, take Goyle to the Hospital wing. Granger, wait for me, and I will take you." she once again focused her eyes on the two fools in front of her.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor, twenty points from Slytherin. We will talk later Potter." she glared at him one more time before turning towards Malfoy. Even though he was almost taller than her, he seemed to shrink in his place. Suddenly, she noticed a bright red badge pinned to his robes, a message on it changing.

SUPPORT CEDRIC DIGGORY - THE REAL HOGWARTS CHAMPION.

POTTER STINKS.

Her blood started to boil once more, as she looked around and saw all Slytherin students wearing those awful badges. She outstretched her hand and gripped Malfoy's badge, ripping it away from his robes.

"You made these?" she asked, her tone still cold. Malfoy gave her a small nod in response. "Lovely."

"Evanesco." She waved her wand and all red badges worn by the Slytherin students disappeared. She could see Malfoy's eyes widening in surprise. Did he think she would appreciate them? She didn't.

"I have to say, Draco, now I'm really looking forward to speaking to your father. And he will not thank you for it." she hissed, making Malfoy shrink even more. He was scared of her. He should be. She turned on her heel, not sparing any of them another look, before gently grabbing Hermione's elbow and leading her out of the dungeons.

She finally had a chance to look at her once they were on the staircase, away from Hermione's classmates. Her expression softened when she took in the damage. Hermione's front teeth were growing longer, now almost reaching her chin, and hot tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried to stop the growth. Lilith was glad she always carried a handkerchief in her robes as she quickly fished out one and offered it to the younger witch. She looked surprised at the offer but took it, wiping away the tears but new ones were still coming. Lilith hated every second of it. She was beyond furious at Malfoy, and it took every fibre of her being not to return and hex him with the worst spells she knew. Instead, she gently pried Hermione's hands away from her growing teeth.

"I will try something, alright?" she spoke softly, not to distress the crying girl even more. It took some searching through her mind before she finally came up with a spell.

"I stopped the growing but Madame Pomfrey should do the next. I'm not very experienced in those kinds of spells I'm afraid. Come on, let's go." she gently squeezed Hermione's elbow and started pulling her up the stairs. They didn't speak on the way toward the Hospital wing but she rubbed Hermione's arm comfortingly as she heard her quiet hiccups.

Madame Pomfrey was in the middle of treating Goyle when they entered the Wing and gestured towards an empty bed for them to wait. Lilith sat on the chair nearby the bed while Hermione still wiped away the tears with her handkerchief. But as she finally calmed down, she turned towards Lilith.

"Malfoy... he looked scared." she got out, her pronunciation a bit faltering thanks to the long teeth. Lilith sighed and clasped her hands together.

"I guess he did, yes." she avoided Hermione's eyes.

"Why?"

"That's a long story, Granger," she smirked at Hermione who watched her intensely, her eyes still red but no more tears came out. "maybe I'm scary."

"I don't think you're scary," she heard Hermione mumble. "at least not that scary." Lilith chuckled quietly, her heart warming at her response.

"Well thank you, Gran..."

"Hermione." Hermione interrupted her. Lilith gave her another small smile.

"Hermione." the corners of Hermione's mouth lifted a little and they fell into a comfortable silence that was interrupted by Madame Pomfrey who eyed both of them before her eyes settled on Hermione's teeth.

"What do we have here?" Lilith sighed and her eyes went from Goyle to Hermione to Madame Pomfrey.

"There was a small quarrel in the dungeons. Goyle there, and Gran...," she stopped herself as she caught Hermione's eyes. "Hermione, were caught in the crossfire." Madame Pomfrey nodded, Lilith's explanation was enough for her. She walked away for a second and came back with a mirror which she handed to Hermione.

"Tell me when to stop Miss Granger." Lilith watched as she started to shorten Hermione's teeth, taking note of the spell and saving it in her memory. She never knew when a spell like that would come in handy. After a while, Hermione finally said stop, and Lilith couldn't help but notice that something was different. She watched Hermione from afar for a long time so she knew the younger girl had slightly longer front teeth, and she found it kind of adorable. But now all Hermione's teeth were the same length and perfectly straight. She frowned a little at that change but quickly composed herself. When Madame Pomfrey finally left, Lilith stood up from her chair.

"Come on, I will walk you so you wouldn't get in trouble." she walked ahead and could hear Hermione's footsteps following behind her. The corridors were empty, and quiet as everyone was in their respective classes.

"Why are you being nice to me?" she stopped as she heard Hermione speak up, and turned around to face her. They were on a staircase, and Hermione was now standing a few steps above her. Lilith leaned against the stone railing, her hand twitching toward her right pocket where the silver cigarette case was hidden.

"What?" Hermione crossed her arms.

"You were never nice to me, but," Hermione huffed, her eyes piercing through Lilith and the older witch felt a little ashamed at her words. "this year you are. So why?" Lilith looked away and shrugged. She didn't want to confess to Hermione, not now. So she had to come up with a good explanation for her actions.

"You're right, I was an arsehole. But," she gulped, still avoiding Hermione's eyes. "when your circumstances change, it tends to put your views into perspective."

"Your father?" Lilith winced at her question.

"Yes." No she thought but a little white lie never hurt anyone. "Turns out that when you're forced to take over as the head of your family, it forces you to grow out of your old ways. Well, in some aspects at least." it wasn't a complete lie, just a little variation of the truth. But it seemed to work as Hermione's eyes softened. As much as Lilith enjoyed the idea of Hermione getting to know her better, this wasn't the time or the place for it.

"You have a class to get to, come on." she turned on her heel and continued walking down, Hermione following soon after. They didn't speak for the rest of the way. When Snape opened the door to the Potions classroom, he didn't say anything when he saw Lilith at the door along with Hermione and simply stepped aside to let the younger witch in. He glared at Lilith for a little while before closing the door, leaving her alone in the corridor.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was an unusually sunny and warm day for November when Lilith and Fleur sat in the familiar spot on the school grounds. Lilith managed to smuggle out some snacks from the kitchen that were now laying on a cloak serving as a makeshift blanket. It was a familiar scene for both of them, laying on a blanket outside, talking, Fleur eating while Lilith smoked away her stress. Just like they did for years before their little affair. And Lilith was glad they went back to their old ways, she missed it. There were very few moments these days when she felt at ease and relaxed, and thanks to Fleur, she felt just that.

They were in the middle of discussing Fleur's upcoming graduation when Cedric finally joined them. But his frown stopped the conversation immediately as he dropped next to Lilith and threw a newspaper right in front of her.

"It's published?" it was weird hearing Fleur speak English but at least her English wasn't bad, she only had a small accent. Lilith furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as Cedric nodded yes to Fleur's question.

"What's published?" Cedric nudged the newspaper to her.

"Read it." she picked up the paper and immediately saw the photo of the four champions on the front cover. Her eyes flew over the article, further confused when she saw it was basically an article about Harry Potter. Then she finally saw the name right next to the title.

"Rita Skeeter?" she groaned. "You seriously gave an interview to Rita Skeeter?" she hated that woman with a burning passion ever since she found the old articles where Skeeter bashed her mother mercilessly.

"It was more like an ambush." Cedric murmured as he stole one of Lilith's cigarettes and lit it.

"I did not like that woman." Fleur shook her head, a sour expression resting on her face.

"Rita Skeeter is a menace to society. She twists every word you say and spins her own web of lies just to keep the scandal going." Lilith scoffed and went through the article. "The only things she gets right are the names of the people she interviews but she twists even those many times over." as she read the article, her eyebrows almost went to her hairline.

"Merlin, I bet you she waited years to sink her claws into Potter." she closed the newspaper and threw it back on the ground.

"Your names are only mentioned, you should be glad for that." she sighed and took a drag from her cigarette.

"So what were you talking about?" Cedric decided to change the subject clearly irritated by the article.

"Fleur's thinking about coming to Britain after graduation." they smiled at each other.

"Really?"

"Yes, to better my English."

"So you mean you're not staying for me?" Lilith faked a gasp and earned a cheeky smile from Fleur.

"Oh darling, you're just a bonus." they looked each other in the eye before both of them started giggling like little children. Cedric just shook his head at them.

"If I didn't know about your situation, I'd think you really are a couple." Lilith shrugged, still smiling.

"Speaking of, I think you'd like to hear that I took your advice."

"You mean you finally stopped being a douchebag to her?" Fleur raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by Cedric's words.

"I wouldn't say it like that but yes."

"Excuse me, who are we talking about?" Lilith blushed slightly as she remembered she didn't tell Fleur about her crush.

"She fancies one of Potter's friends." Cedric smirked and Lilith wanted to die on the spot. She could see Fleur's grin from the corner of her eye.

"I knew it. I knew you were in love with someone." Lilith wished the ground opened right underneath her and swallowed her whole. It was a better option than sitting there while both of them grinned at her like excited children.

"Can we please not talk about it?" she groaned but Fleur narrowed her eyes at her.

"No way, darling. I want to hear everything."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As time went by, they didn't even notice that the time of the first task came. Lilith's work slowed down a bit so she finally had time to spend with Fleur and Cedric who became fast friends. That didn't go unnoticed by the whole student body. The rumours about the three of them circulated in the school ever since someone saw them walking together but that didn't faze them. Cedric, Fleur and Lilith were always at the centre of attention for various reasons so they were past listening to whatever gossip was spread about them.

Both Cedric and Fleur trained hard for their task, reading and practising any spell they came across. Lilith didn't know how they found out what their first task was but whenever they were together, they didn't talk about the tournament. Lilith could sense they were both on the edge so she tried to give them as much peace and tournament-free talk as they needed. She noticed how Potter was on the edge too, and noticed how Weasley strangely kept his distance from him. She felt bad for the boy but that was a lesson he needed to learn on his own.

Lilith could hear the yelling and cheering from the crowd in the arena where the first task was supposed to be held but it only made her nerves go crazy. Not even the vodka in her flask helped to calm them. She was halfway through the flask when someone bumped into her. She wanted to yell at the person, to let her emotions out on them but when she finally saw who it was, she stopped herself. Hermione looked just as stressed as she was feeling at the moment when she was staring at her, brown eyes wide open.

"Sorry Lilith."

"It's alright. Nervous?" she noticed her shaking hands while Hermione noticed Lilith's flask.

"Looks like I'm not the only one." she smiled nervously and Lilith rubbed the back of her neck.

"It's not really helping but at least something." she sighed and took a sip. "Just overheard the order in which they're going. It's Cedric, Fleur, Krum and then Potter."

She knew Hermione was watching her as she drank but she didn't care.

"I only have Harry there. Can't imagine what it must be like to have your best friend and your girlfriend in there." Lilith almost choked on her vodka at those words, staring at Hermione for a minute before she let out a loud laugh.

"Wait, you think Fleur is my girlfriend?" she continued to chuckle as she watched Hermione's face redden. "Merlin, this is brilliant."

She continued to laugh at Hermione's assumption, wiping away the tears that came out of her eyes.

"Why did you... why did you think that?" Hermione was now red as a tomato when Lilith's laugh finally died down.

"I...I overheard you and Cedric once... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." Lilith put a hand up to stop her nervous rambling.

"It's alright, honestly I needed a little laugh. To clear things up, even though I do favour ladies, Fleur has been my best friend for over ten years, she's more of my platonic soulmate." Lilith felt happy that she finally got to explain this, especially to Hermione. And she finally got to say it to somebody who wasn't Cedric or Fleur. She knew she was a lesbian since she was little. But her situation wasn't ideal. Homosexuality was common in the wizarding world, it wasn't persecuted or banned. But there was still a stigma among the old wizarding families, so her being the heir to the Farrow name and a lesbian? It didn't mix. But with her father gone, who was going to stop her now?

Hermione looked like she wanted to ask about something more but a loud bang sounded from the arena and Lilith's heart dropped into her stomach. It was time. Without sparring Hermione another look, she turned on her heels and sprinted towards the arena. And there it was. Cedric, in his black and yellow jersey, looked so small compared to the large blueish-grey beast towering over him, roaring and eyeing him as if he was a meal.

She covered her mouth in shock, her heart beating so fast it might as well run out of her chest. Every time the dragon charged at Cedric, every time he released fire, every time he narrowly escaped it, she let out a small yelp but kept her eyes on the arena. She didn't even notice Hermione coming next to her and rubbing comforting circles on her arm in the same manner she herself used when the incident with the teeth happened. On another occasion, she would be mentally jumping up and down but at that moment she was too preoccupied. She finally released the breath she was holding when Cedric finally grasped the golden egg, ending his task.

"Oh sweet Morgana," she rasped out, "I don't know whether to hug him or kill him." her nerves were finally calming. Meaning she finally noticed the warm hand that was holding her arm. But Hermione didn't let go, she only squeezed her.

"Maybe just let him rest first?" she almost didn't hear her over the crowd around the arena but it made her smile a little bit.

"That's a good idea." her smile died down when the dragon keepers removed Cedric's dragon and brought another one. This one was green and a little smaller than Cedric's but it didn't mean he was less scarier than the blue one. She could feel Hermione starting to rub her arm once again as another bang rang through the arena, and Fleur exited the champion's tent. Fleur's actions inside the arena made her nearly jump out of her skin if it wasn't for Hermione holding her down. If her heart wasn't running fast before, Hermione's and Fleur's actions combined nearly gave her a heart attack.

But finally Fleur also managed to grab the golden egg, finishing her task. Lilith could finally breathe. Both of them were fine. They both managed to beat their dragons. And Hermione was still holding her arm. She didn't know what possessed her but in a moment of sheer adrenaline rush, she hugged Hermione tightly. She needed to lean on someone, she needed that comfort. What surprised her was Hermione hugging her back after she realised what was happening. She savoured that moment, the feeling of Hermione's arms around her torso, her warm breath hitting her neck, the feeling of her heart beating against Lilith. But she knew she had to keep it quick, so she savoured the moment, let it sink into her memory, and then let go of the girl who looked a little bit surprised but had a small smile playing on her lips.

"I should go see them."

"You won't kill them, right?" Lilith had to chuckle.

"After this? Still thinking about it." she squeezed Hermione's arm. "Thank you, Hermione. And don't worry, Potter will be okay. He might be an idiot but he's got more luck than the whole school combined." this made Hermione chuckle as well. Lilith gave her one last squeeze before she turned around and started to walk towards the medical tent where her two idiots were now being treated, the comfortable warm feeling still spreading though her chest.