Kushina Uzumaki The Sage Of The Yuri Path

A dimly lit chamber deep beneath Konoha held an atmosphere of strict discipline, silence, and… the overwhelming aroma of garlic and melted cheese.

Danzo Shimura, leader of Root, master of the shadows, wielder of forbidden secrets—sat at his desk, glaring at a pizza box.

His hands, clad in black gloves, trembled slightly as he reached forward, hesitating. His visible eye narrowed in suspicion. The box was sealed with a perfect fold, the faintest trace of red sauce staining the edges.

A few Root subordinates stood at attention, refusing to meet his gaze, as if their very presence would anger him.

Danzo exhaled, then flipped the box open.

A grotesque sight awaited him.

Inside, carefully arranged between melted cheese and slices of pepperoni, were the remains of the Root agent he had sent to investigate the Crusty Kunai.

The agent's mask was cracked, his body flattened to fit within the confines of the pizza box, and worst of all—he was covered in what appeared to be mozzarella and a light sprinkle of oregano.

A single note, neatly folded and placed atop the gruesome display, bore the words:

"Special delivery from the Sage of Six Slices. We appreciate your business."

Danzo's fingers curled into a fist. The Root agents in the room tensed, expecting their leader's legendary wrath to erupt at any moment.

The silence dragged on.

Then, in a voice so low and dangerous it made the air feel colder, Danzo spoke:

"Who."

A single word. One filled with imminent judgment.

One of the Root members stepped forward cautiously. His voice, though trained to be emotionless, wavered slightly.

"L-Lord Danzo, we sent the agent to… investigate rumors regarding a figure known as the Sage of Six Slices."

Danzo's eye twitched. His fingers tightened around the edge of the pizza box.

"You… sent a Root operative… to investigate… the Crusty Kunai?"

A pause.

"Yes, sir."

The entire room seemed to darken.

Danzo slowly stood from his chair, his robes shifting as his one visible eye burned with fury.

"HOW DARE YOU SEND A ROOT AGENT TO INTERFERE WITH THE CRUSTY KUNAI?!"

The Root agents flinched. One of them, who had faced A-rank missions without fear, visibly shook.

"DO YOU FOOLS HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!" Danzo continued, slamming a hand onto his desk. "THE CRUSTY KUNAI IS THE ONLY PLACE IN THIS VILLAGE WHERE I CAN ENJOY A DECENT MEAL! THE LAST BASTION OF GOOD FOOD IN A SEA OF MEDIOCRITY!"

A subordinate hesitantly raised a hand.

"But… sir, there's Ichiraku Ramen—"

"SILENCE!" Danzo snapped, flinging a kunai that embedded itself in the wall behind the agent. "I am not some fool who drowns himself in bowls of cheap noodles! I am a man of refined taste! And The Crusty Kunai is the pinnacle of culinary perfection!"

The Root members looked at each other, exchanging silent glances of utter disbelief.

Danzo exhaled heavily, his hand running over his face. His voice, though quieter, remained filled with unfiltered rage.

"You jeopardized my favorite eating establishment." He shook his head. "Unforgivable."

One Root agent gulped. "S-So… you're not mad about the agent being… returned in a pizza box?"

Danzo scoffed. "Agents are expendable. A good pizza place is not."

A stunned silence filled the room.

Danzo slowly sat back down, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"From this moment forward," he declared, "we do not interfere with the Sage of Six Slices."

The Root agents looked at one another, utterly baffled.

"Sir…?" one of them hesitated. "You're… allowing this?"

Danzo glared at him. "Do you want to live in a world where I am denied my weekly Margherita special?"

The agent stepped back in fear. "N-No, sir!"

Danzo grunted, closing the pizza box as if it were a classified scroll.

"This discussion is over. Dismissed."

Root vanished into the shadows, leaving behind only the lingering scent of oregano and a man whose love for pizza outweighed his love for secrecy.

Across Konoha, inside the cozy warmth of The Crusty Kunai, Raven tapped her fingers against the counter, brows furrowed.

"I never heard back from Danzo."

Yuumi, curled on the counter beside a half-eaten pizza, flicked her tail. "Maybe he realized picking a fight with the Sage of Six Slices is a terrible idea?"

Raven scoffed. "Unlikely. Danzo isn't the type to let something like this slide. If anything, I expected retaliation."

Yuumi yawned. "You know, that guy eats here an awful lot."

Raven narrowed her eyes. "What are you saying?"

Yuumi smirked. "I'm saying maybe he decided to look the other way because he can't resist your pizza."

Raven paused.

She slowly turned to look at Aiko, who was pulling a fresh pizza from the oven.

"…There's no way."

Aiko shrugged. "I mean, we do have some very loyal customers."

Raven rubbed her temples. "No. No, no, no. The Danzo I know—the one from my memories—would never look the other way on something like this."

Yuumi grinned, resting her chin on her paws. "Then how do you explain the fact that you sent a Root agent back to him in a pizza box, and yet your shop is still standing?"

Raven opened her mouth.

Paused.

Closed it.

A slow, horrified realization began to sink in.

"…You're telling me Danzo is ignoring all of this because he's a pizza addict?"

Yuumi yawned. "Well, I wouldn't say 'addict'—but, y'know, let's just say if you ever banned him from this place, he'd probably overthrow the Hokage just to get it reopened."

Raven groaned, rubbing her face. "I hate everything about this."

Aiko, wiping her hands on a towel, grinned. "Welcome to the food business, kid."

Hajime, sipping his coffee, nodded sagely. "In the end, all men bow before the power of a well-made slice."

A rolling pin hit him in the head.

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