Listen to the Medic-nin

"So, you finally got kicked out of ANBU, huh?" I ask Kakashi. It's been the talk of the village lately. Kakashi might not be liked by normal civilians but he is practically worshiped by ANBU agents, and they gossip even more than regular ninjas, now that is a proper achievement. Since he is quite the celebrity, as every S-rank ninja should be, news easily got out and bingo books from all over the world are updating his page already, crossing off ANBU captain from his occupation list. 

He groans. "I really don't know what the Hokage was thinking, I was setting records and doing missions faster than anyone in ANBU, why did he even pull me out of it?" He shakes his head.

I give him a look, and he responds with his classic eye smile. "You're smarter than that and we both know it. As a S-rank ninja, it's too dangerous to risk your already waning sanity by keeping you in the shadow ranks. You might be Hokage one day even, since the other S-rank ninjas we have are mostly rogues, drunkards, or already have an important position."

"It really isn't the smartest choice to choose someone like me for such a high position." He sighs. "What does a man have to do to not get the damn hat?"

"You could read porn in public, but that probably won't work for too long." He seems to be actually considering that idea. Oh shit, did I just encourage his Icha Icha reading behavior? It was just supposed to be just a joke… "No need to worry about that yet, since you might get saddled with a team of three and be a Jounin teacher for a while." I see him visibly grimace. "I'd admit, you're horrible with kids and barely semi-decent at teaching. The only reason I turned out fine teamed up with you is because I'm just like that. But you'll be fine! Probably."

He buries his face into his hands and lets out a loud groan. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, kiddo. Really making me feel better here."

"No problem, teach!" I chirp. The nickname makes him cringe, so I call him that from time to time. "By the way, the bingo books are already updating your info, what a butch of stalkers, yea? I swear their information network is kind of scary sometimes…"

Kakashi's face lights up, and he pulls out a book from Iwagakure "Speaking of bingo books, look what we have here? Looks like someone got popular because of a certain C-rank gone wrong, eh?" He gleefully hands me the book. "Flip to page ninety two for a surprise!"

I see my own face staring back at me, sharingan blazing. "At least they got my good side…" I mumble. Looking at the contents, they mostly got my information right about being a medic and an allrounder. Damn, they're offering six million for me alive, and four million more if my one sharingan eye's intact. Man, I'm kinda tempted to turn myself in right now…

Oh wait, I'm bloody rich! I don't need the cash anymore.

I flip through some more pages, and still can't seem to find my epithet. How come someone like Kakashi gets a cool one like 'Copy-nin' and I don't even get one assigned to me?

"I don't see my codename here, did they not give me one?" I ask, returning the book back to its owner.

"You don't have one yet, but you're going to be assigned one soon once you go on some more A-ranks with your team. Who knows, you might get a cool sounding one!" He has his mask on, but I have a feeling that he's smirking at me. That smug son of a bitch. When I get an epithet and it turns out to be better than his, I'm going to rub it in his face.

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Looking at my growing collection of storage seals, maybe it's about time I sort through my belongings. Since I've collected the money left to me by my clan, I only check out the buildings and streets I own every two months or so, kicking out the occasional freeloader and checking if anything looks like it's a minute away from collapsing. I should hire some Genin teams to clean up the district, huh? No one will want to live there for a while since we humans are a bunch of superstitious lot, but the empty districts and streets will have to be used or it will just be there, wasting away.

Maybe the streets will be alive with noise and lively shops again in a few couple years, who knows? A girl can dream.

Hm, might change one of the bigger houses into a small clan compound. I don't want to rebuild the clan, but if I remember it right Sasuke will have a daughter in the far future, so it's the least I can do to make her life a bit easier since she has to deal with a depressed adult Sasuke daily.

Speaking of whom, Sasuke's officially Sora's rival, and they are both competing for the Rookie of the Year award. It's pretty fierce, with both of my boys casually displaying Genin level skill and strength already. Man, I am so proud of them.

The rivalry between them is pretty healthy so far, so I won't stop them from hosting their little competition. It can push both of my favorite kiddos to become much stronger, and who wouldn't want that? Hell, I might even dangle some flashy fire jutsu in front of Sasuke to motivate him as a prize if he gets Rookie of the Year. As for Sora, I'll just help him practice his chakra control. He's shaping to be another healing prodigy in the making, and this village really needs more people talented in medical jutsu with people like Kakashi landing himself in the hospital every other day.

Anyways, I ought to start looking at rebuilding some broken houses or demolishing some that are unsalvageable. I'm rich now, but it's always nice to have a steady amount of income. Plus, I got to boss people around by being a landlady, and that's very tempting.

With that in mind, I make myself a quick breakfast while wrapping up a serving for Sasuke, leaving it on the table so he won't spend too much on a fancy meal. He doesn't have a concrete concept of money yet, since he seems to have an unlimited supply of them so he tends to splurge on items that he doesn't really need, including expensive meals. He doesn't even finish them usually since the amount of food is too much for a person normally, what a damn waste.

I will file a mission for two teams of Genin soon to inspect the conditions of houses and streets which I own, which is about twelve houses and a single training ground, with a decently sized police office right at the middle of my property. I went in there once after the massacre, and it oddly reminded me of Japanese yakuza offices. They look really nice, so I'm not complaining about the aesthetic.

There's only one house I own large enough to be changed into a small compound, and it's in fine shape. It's got a small garden, a pond for fish, and some security seals that need to be refreshed to be functionable again. The only thing I slightly dislike about it is that it used to belong to one of those stingy elders who's all about transition and generally being a pain in my ass while he was alive, so I had the urge to set it on fire after learning that I inherited it.

Well, I'm sure he's rolling in the grave knowing that I plan to sell or rent out most of the Uchiha district to outsiders with Sasuke's approval, so that's one good thing going for me. After all, I'm the girl that is always willing and happy to piss assholes like him off!

Oh, I also inherited a really sharp and stylish katana. It cuts through solid wood like paper if I put a tiny portion of my chakra in it, and apparently it used to be a slightly famous weapon that was used by a couple Uchiha warriors during the wars since Konohagakure was founded. It got less known since peace time came and less Uchiha had the necessary talent and skill to perfectly hone the edges of this blade, since this blade needs its user to have almost perfect chakra control to use it properly. It really suits me, since being a fairly accomplished Medic-nin already means I have amazing chakra control. I might need someone to teach me the sword stances and skills, as well to get used to a sword-based fighting style instead of my usual kunai and hand to hand combat fighting style. It might take serious effort and some time, but it will be guaranteed to make me stronger. For now, I'm satisfied with fighting with kunais and my fists, so I'll hire some guy to teach me like, a couple years down the line, maybe.

I already had to adapt my fighting style since I was blinded in one eye, so I have confidence in my adaptability. I probably can change to another completely different fighting style if I put in the effort. The only issue is that Konohagakure has no one good enough in swordplay to be called a swordmaster, unlike villages like Kirigakure. There are some decent sword wielders, but that's it.

Eh, I'll deal with it later, I'm sure I can learn more about swordsmanship while fighting actual enemies, so I can just learn the basics from a tutor when I get some free time and roll with it.

It's almost time for my hospital shift, so I'll just leave the grunt work of scrubbing the floorboards and dusting the furniture of the houses to the Genin that I hired. Having money really is convenient, huh?

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"Oh god, it hurts s-so much!" Shit, the lungs on this girl! She sure can scream, I'll give her that. "Please, give me something to dull the pain!"

From the way she's yelling, you would think she's getting her arm cut off or something, but she is just getting her twisted ankle fixed up. A twisted ankle from running and then falling on a crowded street. Yep, that's it.

The only reason she was ushered to the main Konohagakure hospital normally for ninjas is because she's the cousin of the daimyo or something, I don't know the specifics since I tuned out most of the political talk the guard detail of hers spouted out with a straight face like a few minutes ago.

Seriously, what kind of guard can't even stop someone from falling over and twisting their ankle? Pathetic, really. They should hire someone else more competent.

"Yea, the time it takes for me to find stuff to drug you with probably is longer than the time I need to fix you up, so just be cooperative and bear with it please." She has the nerve to sniff at my words. I swear, if she breaks down crying and gets snot on my clothes, I'll throw the girl out the window, and we're on the second floor. I don't give a shit if she's the daimyo's cousin or not. The guy has like a hundred different relatives, he's not going to miss this one.

I am never one to ponder the consequences of my actions, go figure.

"I want to go bac-ck to the capital!" She wails, tears rolling down her face. Fuck this, I was going to be nice and gently push the bones in her leg back into the right position before, but she has to be a brat and start crying. Alright then, here I go.

I forcibly push her ankles towards each other, and a loud 'snap' is heard. The girl's screaming even louder than before and passes out after like five seconds. God, her pain tolerance is horrible.

I groan, and hand off the girl to her guards once everything's sorted out. "Don't worry, she just can't handle pain very well, it really isn't that big of a problem." I assure them. "There's no lasting consequences if you're worried about that."

The guards seem genuinely grateful for that information and quickly carry the girl to a nearby inn. God, my eardrums might be damaged after whatever that shitshow was.

Why can't every brat be as nice and quiet as Sora or Sasuke? They never complained or whined about anything in like, ever. If only that was the normal behavior for kids.

I glance at the clock. There's still around three hours until my shift ends, fuck my life.