Marvel: Life is Good

TN: Apologies for the disappearance, had some personal matters to take care of this week.

Warning: 18+ scene

'Oh, fuck me' I thought, trying to keep my spine from ejecting itself through my ass under the sheer force of what was happening. Whatever this big green lady had in her head when she decided to hug me and reenact Gagarin's legendary launch, I had no clue. Yep, we're mid-air now. I'm praying for a miracle here because the odds of dying from Hulk's superhero landing with me in her arms are sky-high. Gravity and inertia—those two merciless sisters—were gunning for me, and I'd somehow survived the initial leap. Don't ask me how. My balls definitely tried to detach themselves during takeoff.

How did this even happen? Fast, that's how. There we were, standing outside the cafe. Then there was Hulk. Big Hulk. Thankfully, not the awkward "cube with arms" version from the original universe. No, she was… proportionate. Ripped muscles without looking overdone, killer hips, and boobs— E cup? F?!—that weren't saggy water balloons but stood firm and proud, like the main cannons on the cruiser Aurora. Honest confession? I'd smash. Sorry, not sorry. 

But two things ruined the whole picture: her face—twisted in fury, though you could call it beautiful if it weren't for that expression—and her size. She was massive. Like, Astartes massive. If she shouted "Courage and Honor," she'd be a dead ringer for an Ultramarine who'd ditched her power armor, turned green, and swapped genders. Okay, and hotter. If Banner's version of Hulk had looked like a monster, I'd have just called her an orc.

Then she took two steps toward us, shoved Rogue aside—not too hard, though; Anna-Marie did a neat roll and was already on her feet—and grabbed me. Pressed me to her chest. And leapt. I didn't even have time to scream before we shot skyward. Why didn't I use my powers or react at all? Because I didn't see this coming! One minute, we're leaving a café; the next, BAM—Hulk. I froze, and that's when everything went down. Now, mid-flight, I was too scared to do anything. What if she dropped me? We were, like, a bajillion meters above ground already. Or worse—what if she got mad at me specifically? I'm no Loki; if she used me to hammer the ground, I'd turn into paste. 

And honestly? I had no idea how to fight Hulk. None. I'd only seen her in a couple of movies, and they left no impression—they bored me to death. I vaguely remembered Abomination and her smashing stuff in The Avengers, and that was it. In every scene, she just wrecked everyone, and nothing seemed to hurt her. And if it did, she'd go green again and wreck everyone again.

So yeah, I wasn't screaming "let me go!" or anything like that. Quite the opposite—I was clutching her boobs for dear life. What else was I supposed to hold onto? My face was squished between them, and my arms could only wrap around her chest. To look down, I'd have to break my neck. So, just like in my youth, I held onto the boobs and prayed not to die.

We're flying. I'm desperately trying to kickstart my brain, sneaking glances downward. Then I look up. Above her chest is Hulk's face, and she's looking at me. Suspiciously. Like, "Why the hell am I carrying this bald guy? What if he's diseased? Should I toss him?" Suspicion turned to doubt in her eyes as we locked gazes. And me, being me, yelled out the first thing that came to mind:

"You kidnapped me from my date—take responsibility!" 

I had to scream to be heard over the wind. Her doubts deepened. Clearly, this wasn't the right strategy. I thought for another second and added, "Just don't drop me, please, at least until we're on the ground!"

"Hulk not drop Baldy," she growled. 

Oh, you green bitch of a bitch! I'm not bald—I'm shaved! Thermally depilated, even! "Baldy" my ass.

"Baldy stay with Hulk."

Okay, now I had no idea how to react. I'd heard jokes about cavemen dragging women to their caves with a club, but come on—I wasn't supposed to be the butt of that joke! Death by snu-snu? Really? Then again, glancing at her chest… Uh… could be worse. Could be waaay worse… Honestly, not a bad way to go. In my past life, I'd joked that dying in bed with a gorgeous woman wasn't a bad way to end things. Even Tobias Junior seemed to agree—stupid teenage hormones picking the worst possible moments to act up.

Anyway, jokes aside, it looked like we were descending. Holy crap—one jump, and we're already on the city's outskirts. At this rate, ten jumps could take us to another state. Please don't die, please don't die. I focused on my powers, willing myself not to die. Anti-gravity, inertia dampening, turning into a rubber man—anything! Just don't die! I was so focused I didn't even scream in terror. Well, that and my one (yes, just one) skydiving experience in my past life made me feel like a pro at falling.

The ground got closer… closer… My face pressed deeper into her chest—at least there was some cushioning. Wrapping my arms and legs tighter around her, I braced for impact. I think I even started sparking from the sheer tension—literally. I could feel Hulk gripping me tighter, too… 

BOOM.

Uh… Not bad. My power reserves took a quarter hit, every bone in my body creaked, but nothing broke or fell off. Damn, what a woman! Turning from a scientist into… this. Anyone else would've croaked on the spot… oh. Crap. We're flying again.

Okay, so, a quarter of my reserves gone. That's maybe three, four jumps max before I'm toast. Gotta think of something… Wait a sec, why are my reserves refilling? Could it be… The Power of Boobs recharging my batteries?! Nah, that's just nerves talking. Must be something Hulk's radiating that I'm absorbing. Radioactive Hulk? Ha. Let's see how much I recover before the next landing. Maybe I'll survive this madness after all.

By the second landing, my reserves not only refilled but overshot. Good. This time, less energy drained because Hulk cradled me princess-style. I wrapped my arms around her neck—not out of love but pure terror. Well, just a bit of love. Hormones, you understand. And so it went for about ten jumps. I gradually calmed down, even discharging excess energy through heat and small electrical sparks, careful not to burn my clothes. Hulk didn't seem to care about the heat or the occasional jolts. The first time it happened mid-flight, she side-eyed me, but I shouted, "Excess energy! If I don't release it, I'll explode!" She just nodded and kept jumping. 

Occasionally, I spotted helicopters in the distance, but they quickly fell behind. Hulk wasn't stupid, either—she kept changing directions. She might've been angry, but she wasn't a complete idiot.

Why the heck she needs me is still a mystery. By jump number twenty, I'd calmed down enough to actually look around with some interest. The wind was howling, and the speed was insane, but with my powers, I wasn't really uncomfortable. Plus, the green generator of energy had me fully charged up, making the whole experience almost... fun? Like bouncing on a giant titty trampoline. Although, after an hour or two, even that got old. Sure, we were jumping, and the scenery below kept changing, but now it was some semi-desert wasteland. Boredom set in, and I started wondering, "How the hell am I gonna get back?" 

I had a couple hundred bucks on me—enough for a few interstate bus rides—but we'd jumped ridiculously far. And let's not even get started on the potential awkwardness of being stranded in the middle of nowhere with a naked lady when she finally calmed down and turned back into Banner. Assuming this Hulk even had an "alter ego" in this universe. I didn't exactly have all the details; information on her wasn't exactly readily available. 

Still, the more pressing question was: what do I even do if she turns back? Aside from the sexy thoughts swirling in my head right now. But yeah, it's inevitable she'll calm down eventually. She already seemed to be cooling off. She wasn't growling as much, her size had visibly decreased, and even her jumps were getting shorter. Man, weird stuff just keeps happening to me. My luck sucks. 

__________________________________________

Meanwhile, in a distant universe, in some science-focused town, an unusual Japanese high schooler found himself strangely elated despite his beaten-up body and another round of misfortune. Kamijou Touma smiled faintly, as though he'd found a long-lost kindred spirit. Maybe life wasn't so bad after all. 

__________________________________________________________

Eventually, we stopped in some barren wasteland near a small grotto carved into a lone rock formation. Around us? A whole lot of nothing. Scraggly bushes and patches of dry grass clung to life in the cracked earth. Honestly, it looked like Fallout had come to life. Ugh. She set me down on the ground and walked off toward the grotto. By this point, she'd shrunk enough to be just half a head taller than me, her muscles less pronounced, and her green hue fading slightly. 

And that's when I noticed her ass. Firm. Perfect. Like a damn peach. I swallowed hard, my mind derailing for a good couple of seconds. So maybe I was too quick to judge the lack of greenery in this area. 

Hulk plopped herself down inside the grotto and stared at me. Well, I figured, might as well approach. I mean, if she wanted to squash me, she'd have already spread me thin across the desert floor. Running? She'd catch me, and worse—piss her off. Fighting? Yeah, no thanks. Even if I could go all explosive, I wasn't about to test that theory. Why provoke her when everything was relatively fine? 

And hey, if she tried to get frisky... well... it's not like I'd resist. Not much, anyway. At the "boner at every breeze" age, surrounded by gorgeous women all the time—what do you expect? Green or not, if Hulk decided to go full-on snu-snu, I'd probably survive. Hopefully. I mean, the important bits staying intact is key, but she was already smaller, calmer. All I needed was to not piss her off and maybe win her over. And preferably avoid snu-snu. I liked my hips in one piece. 

I sat down beside her, just brushing her shoulder. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I finally broke it. 

"So, uh, what's the plan, gorgeous?" I asked, throwing on as much charm as I could muster. "Where even are we? And why'd you bring me along?" 

"Hulk and Baldy sit," she said. Goddamn, my eye twitched. "Far. Baldy didn't scream. Hulk liked. Took Baldy." 

Well. That's a confession of love if I've ever heard one. 

"Uh... thanks? You're beautiful too," I said, trying to keep things friendly. "But you're, uh, really strong, y'know? You might... overdo it with me." 

"Hulk know. Banner weak. She not hurt Baldy. Hulk watch." 

Oh, great. Now it sounds like she's suggesting a 'threesome' with herself and Banner. Toby Junior stirred. I did too. And, uh... what if? 

"Call me Toby, Hulk. And aren't you cold?" I said, suddenly realizing the air was far from warm. I didn't care much, but even if Hulk was near-invulnerable, she probably felt the chill. 

While she was busy thinking that over, I shifted behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and clasping my hands just under her chest. I let out a little heat—not too much, just enough to be cozy. Hulk tensed briefly, then relaxed, sitting there quietly as I warmed her up. After a moment, she reached back and stretched my legs out over hers, locking us into a kind of cozy pile-up. 

"Baldy Tobi like Hulk?" she asked, her voice filled with such genuine surprise that it caught me off guard. 

"Well, I did say you're beautiful," I replied honestly. And she really was. Sure, the scale was a bit off, but she had a killer figure, firm ass, and those assets. Even her face, when not twisted in rage, was cute. Who cared if she was green? My second girlfriend, Kristi, was blue. "But, uh... you're also really strong." 

"Yes," she said proudly, puffing out her chest. "Hulk strong. People weak. People scared. They fear Hulk, but they attack. Hulk angry—Hulk smash. Then run. Always run." Her voice softened, heavy with sadness… exhaustion… and then... silence. 

========================= 18+ Hulk Non-Canon Omake========================

She sat there, a beautiful mountain of woman, looking absolutely devastated. It was like someone told her that they were discontinuing her favorite cookies. Which, I guessed, was kinda sad if you thought about it. Hulk most likely never had a chance to try any… And maybe I should make a mental note to get her some once we got out of this desert.

You know, I'd always been a sucker for puppy eyes, and her devastated face made me feel real miserable.

Okay, okay, internal monologue time. Time to justify what I was about to do…

'She is significantly smaller now, than she was when I first met her. My 'comfort field' is constantly recharging in her presence. And you know what? Girl deserves more than to be a silent observer all her life unless someone needs an angry green monster! She deserves all that and more, including cookies!

Fuck it! I'm doing this… I'm actually planning on doing this! I'm about to give a Hulk some sexy time. Not something I ever thought I'd write in my 'to do' list.'

'Focus, Toby,' I scolded myself internally. 'You're a suave, well-adjusted individual. You can totally pull this off. You're not gonna make it awkward.'

I was still radiating the gentle warmth, a low-key furnace for the green goddess. Keeping my hands gentle, I started with her lower back, pressing my palms against the smooth, warm skin, and slowly moving my way up. I tried to make my touch confident, not like a terrified teenager. And it wasn't working, because my hands were shaking just a little. 'Oh god, this is actually happeniiiing.'

"Just… relax," I murmured, mostly to myself, trying to act like this was a normal Tuesday afternoon. "I just want you to relax, no need to be sad." She wasn't reacting. Like at all. Frozen like a statue. So, I kept going, slowly sliding my hands up to her waist. She was still a bit tense, I could feel her muscles were rock hard, but not as much as they were an hour ago, when we were flying through the air. So I kept going. My hands traced the curve of her chest, then gently cupped her breasts, touching the soft flesh. A little gust of wind came off her as she let out a sigh. Maybe she was finally starting to relax?

'Okay, Toby. It's time to not be a coward and go for it.'

My fingers trace the outline of her ribs, then move up towards her neck, caressing her skin. "Hulk… are you okay?" I whisper my voice rough around the edges.

"Hulk… Likes…" her breath hitched ever so slightly. Okay, that was progress. Emboldened, I nudged her gently, sliding my hand further around her chest. And wow, I had no idea what size these things were, but it felt like it was drowning in her green cleavage.

With a playful flick of my fingers, I traced her breasts and my hand found their way between those perfect mountains of flesh. She stiffened and I almost pulled away, but she didn't try to stop me. I could feel her heart pounding like crazy, even though my fingers were just barely touching.

"I know you're afraid to hurt me, I get it," I said, looking into her eyes. "But… it's okay. I am not so fragile. I just want to give you attention, alright?"

Hulk didn't move, didn't blink, didn't say anything. Just her wide-open eyes and a small wobble at the corner of her lips gave me an impression of almost desperate hope.

Yep, no way I was backing out now, in front of that cute face.

I started tracing random patterns on her skin with my fingertips, hoping to calm her, get her used to me and my touch. My fingers found her nipple and gently brushed it, feeling it harden under my touch. I could feel her breath hitch again, this time more pronounced. I could almost see her blushing a darker shade of green.

"Is… is that okay?" I asked in a whisper, and she didn't say anything, but her hands slowly moved forward, clasping mine, not to push me away, but to keep me there. Okay. Time to bite the bullet.

With a tiny push, I moved her legs slightly apart, as my fingers found her wet heat, feeling her gasp under my touch.

I slid my fingers inside, feeling her tighten around me, and moved gently, my thumb tracing her clit. Barely a minute of gentle attention and she let out a growling moan, her eyes rolled back in a climax, and her hands, blindingly fast, shot towards the ground, away from me, sinking into the rock-hard earth. She gripped it like bed sheets with her fingers, and the sound of deep grooves being carved into rocks echoed through the cave.

'Oh my Goddess… Oh my fucking Goddess. I just made Hulk cum!' my brain hysterically repeated.

And while I marveled at my hand like it was the most marvelous thing in the universe, I felt her rapidly deflate like a popped balloon. My fingers, still inside her, felt her changing, and I pulled away, hugging her with both arms as she underwent her transformation.

===================18+ Banner ======================

Her body shrank further and further as her green hue faded entirely. She slumped against me, out cold. Now, instead of the Hulk, I was holding Banner. And damn it, I'd been ready for action! Ugh. Worse, the energy she'd been radiating? Gone. Just like that. 

Cursing quietly, I heated the ground around us to make it more bearable. Shrugging off my jacket, I laid it down in a double layer, then carefully slid her onto it. Banner was now a petite little thing, maybe twenty-five or twenty-seven, around five and a half feet tall, with a firm, peachy ass and a modest but perky chest. Definitely a runner's build. 

I tucked her in as best I could, laying next to her for warmth. My legs cradled hers, my chest pressed to her back, and my head rested on her shoulder. A slow, steady heat radiated from me—not too much, just enough to keep her cozy.

We sat there for about ten minutes. My thoughts were bouncing between "Hope no one finds us like this" and "Wow, she's gorgeous, and naked, and there's no one else around—heh-heh-heh." Plus, she smelled amazing. The scent of a clean woman's body is always delightful, and Miss Banner wasn't even the least bit sweaty. She had me worked up in every sense of the word.

She stirred a little, clearly coming to. She shifted against my shoulder, wrapped her arms around my bare torso, and—oh boy—her lips brushed my neck. Whew. It felt like a jolt of electricity shot through me. Unable to resist, I ran one hand down her back over her shirt and let the other caress her stomach. How could I not? A half-naked, stunning woman in my arms? Come on. And judging by her dreamy little smile, she was probably having some kind of spicy dream.

A soft moan escaped her lips, and her hands started exploring my back. She lifted her head, aiming for my mouth. Then—bam—she kissed me. Sweet, passionate, and she pulled me closer. My hand slid up from her stomach to her chest. I gave a light squeeze. She exhaled hotly against my lips and opened her eyes—green, gorgeous, a little hazy with sleep and… other things.

That's when clarity hit. Her gaze shifted to awareness, then fear, then full-blown panic. She pulled back, breaking the kiss. Her eyes darted over me, then scanned our surroundings. After a tense few seconds, she slumped her shoulders and buried her face in her hands.

"Oh Goddess, not again… Why?!" she groaned. Then she looked back at me, alarmed. "Are you okay? Did she hurt you? Please, don't be scared of me—I swear I'm normal. I wouldn't hurt anyone…"

"Miss Banner, relax," I said, trying to calm both her and myself because, honestly, I was two seconds away from pouncing on her. My voice came out a little rough from the tension. "Nothing bad happened. Hulk just… gave me a ride. And, uh, I took off my shirt to keep you warm. It's cold out here. Name's Tobias, by the way, but you can just call me Toby." I smiled, hoping it didn't come off as the grin of a crazed maniac.

"Cold? Gave you a ride? I… Hulk?" She froze as it dawned on her what state she was in. "Oh Goddess. Please tell me I didn't… you know…" Her voice trailed off as her eyes landed on my hand, still resting on her chest.

"No, Miss Banner, nothing happened. Hulk settled down, and you only just came to. You didn't have time to do anything…" I hesitated before adding, "Unfortunately." Then, feeling bold, I asked, "What's your name, Miss Banner?"

"Jennifer. Jennifer Banner. Unfortunately?" Oh, the sweet innocence in her confusion. I couldn't hold back anymore. If she was going to slap me, so be it.

"Yes, unfortunately," I said with a cheeky grin, moving my hand from her chest to her stomach, just under the edge of her shirt. "You kiss really well, and I'm not sure why you stopped." I let my hand drift lower. "And you smell amazing." Leaning in, I brushed my lips against her neck, savoring the warmth of her skin.

Jennifer let out a soft gasp, shifting slightly, her thigh brushing against me in a way that sent my pulse racing. My hand slid further under her shirt, heading south. Judging by the lack of resistance, I figured she wasn't planning to push me away anytime soon…

My right hand crossed the point of no return and easily caressed her between her legs... Wet... A small moan, and her right hand gently lifted my head by the chin. I saw her lower lip, caught between her teeth, her cheeks flushed, and Jennifer's slightly glazed-over eyes. She looked deep into my eyes,saw the raw desire there, and her lips spread into an anticipatory smile. Murmuring something to herself, she quickly pulled off my t-shirt, swung her left leg over so we were sitting face-to-face, crotch to crotch, and then covered my mouth with a kiss, pressing her perfect breasts against me.

Her tongue slips into my mouth, the kiss hot and greedy as her hands trace my back. Meanwhile, my hands slide down her waist, settling on her backside. I lift her slightly, earning an approving moan, and guide her down to sit on my groin, shifting my legs to accommodate her. She grinds against my already hard cock, still hidden by my pants, but not for much longer if this keeps up.

Jennifer breaks the kiss, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "You're such a pervert," she whispers, then gently pushes me back onto the ground, using my crumpled t-shirt as a pillow. She raises herself slightly, undoes my belt, and pulls my jeans down along with my underwear. A few seconds of inspection... Her smile widens, and she carefully lowers herself on top of me, kissing my neck softly while sliding her left hand under my head, propping herself up on her elbow. She closes her right hand around my dick and starts moving it gently up and down, pressing her wetness against my thigh.

Now it's my turn to start growling with arousal and impatience, squeezing her ass in my hands as I capture her lips. We exchange greedy kisses, and then she releases my dick and straddles me.

For now, she just teases, rubbing her wetness against my eager friend. I can feel how slick she is down there. I pull her closer, pressing her butt against me, trying to enter, but she gently pulls back, whispering, "Now, Toby, I'm going to show you something..." A trail of kisses lowers her head further and further. Past my chest, my stomach… I can feel her breath... feel the touch of her lips on my very head. Playful flicks of her tongue, gentle strokes across my balls... She's teasing me... before taking me into her mouth. This is just... INCREDIBLE. Every movement she makes pulls a moan or a growl from me. I gently stroke her hair, trying not to get too rough. Though God, I want to…

It's like she knows I'm about to lose it, and she starts to suck harder, taking me deep. The rhythm gets faster, deeper, waves of pleasure wash over me. The sounds she makes only fuel the fire. A frenzy of lust...

With a sudden surge, she rises, releasing me from her mouth, then straddles me, guiding my cock inside. A soft moan-growl, a blend of hers and mine, merges into a chorus of pleasure. Wet, hot, tight, and oh so sweet… She leans forward slightly, bracing her hands on my chest, and begins to move her hips, first slowly and carefully, then with increasing force, impaling herself on my shaft. I catch her breast in one hand, pinching the hard, erect nipple, while my other hand rests possessively on her ass. How good this feels… The pace quickens, the thrusts become deeper and more violent, Jennifer's moans turn into cries of pleasure, her fingernails digging into my chest. I feel her vaginal muscles clenching around my cock as she arches her back and cries out on a single note. The beautiful sight of her magnificent body becomes the final trigger for me. A hot surge fills her, as I spill inside her…

Jennifer, still holding me deep within, collapses on top of me, breathing heavily, pressing herself against me. "You're so... hot..." I hear her whisper in my ear. She kissed lightly behind my ear and our shared embrace became a pleasant end to our encounter.