Marvel: Life is Good

TN: Bonus chapter

Mmm... What do you feel after an unexpected roll in the hay with a stranger? And what does she feel? Honestly, a pretty interesting question. At least, it's interesting to me right now. Here we are, lying buck naked like butter on toast, staring at each other. Both of us look pretty pleased with ourselves, but neither of us knows what to say. Honestly, I'd go for round two, but really, we should get moving. Ideally, we should've bounced right away, but having a naked woman in your arms kind of lowers cognitive function while stirring certain... reproductive instincts.

"So, hey, why are you so hot? You feeling okay?" Ah, the keen observational skills of a sharp mind, noticing on day three that the cell has no wall.

"All good, just got a rock jabbing my butt cheek," I chuckle—probably smugly, even. "I'm a mutant. I generate heat through energy manipulation. Kept you warm so you wouldn't freeze after Hulk 'left' and you ended up stark naked on cold rocks." She gave me a grateful look and kissed me softly on the cheek in response. "By the way, maybe we should get moving? I don't want to run into any military types, and I'm guessing you don't either. A big green jumper is a lot easier to spot than a stealth jet." She thought about it for a moment, regret flickering in her eyes, but she started to get up anyway. Not that I was in any rush to get up myself. Even with that damned rock digging into my rear—especially since my eyes kept wandering back to her gorgeous figure.

"Don't look at me like that, Toby, or we won't be going anywhere," she teased, then shivered slightly. "It's cold."

"Wear my stuff. I don't feel the cold; boxers are enough for me." Generously, I handed over my clothes, though I had my doubts. "We're about the same height, but there might be... issues with the pants fitting. I mean, I'm athletic, sure, but I don't have a perfectly sculpted peach like you, thanks to the Goddess."

"My ass will be fine," she grumbled, brushing off my jeans, while I couldn't help but let out a dreamy sigh as my gaze followed her movements. Jen giggled and started dressing. Sure enough, the pants barely fit over her ass, but honestly? That made it even better—what a view.

"I'd say it's better than fine. It's magnificent," I quipped, brushing off my shirt and handing it to her. "You know, you should probably wear elastic or bodysuit-style clothes. For situations like this."

"I do wear elastic! It just tears all the time. Hulk doesn't exactly care about saving the wardrobe. One smashed wall, a snag on a branch, or some rebar... and poof—naked again." She sighed as I gathered up her scattered boots and socks, warming them up a bit to keep her feet comfortable. Hulk might not care about cuts or bruises, but who knows how Jen handles that stuff?

"Thanks, Tobias," she said with a smile as she put on her boots. "Don't get me wrong, but why are you reacting like this? You're not freaking out, not panicking, and instead... well, you're kissing me. Not that I'm complaining! Quite the opposite, actually. But it's weird."

"Well, you know..." I started, helping her with the jacket and wrapping her up warmly before planting a quick kiss on her neck. "Lately, my life's been nonstop chaos." I turned toward the distant horizon where I'd glimpsed some sort of town or village during our jumps. "Let's head there. Looked like a settlement. And let me know if you get cold—I'll warm you up."

I sighed heavily, continuing, "My X-gene just activated not long ago. The moment I found out, I got kidnapped. Then mutants rescued me from the kidnappers. Hid out in a mutant enclave for a few months, then got kidnapped again—this time with all the kids from our safe haven. The kidnappers did experiments on us, basically torture. That's when I unlocked more powers." I exhaled sharply. "Had to fight my way out... I survived, but not everyone I fought did." I glanced at her, but her gaze was filled with sympathy. "Anyway, during my escape, our people attacked the lab and saved us all. A week later, I went out for food with a friend, and—bam—Hulk happened."

"I'm sorry," Jen said softly, looking downcast.

"It's fine. Not your fault." I reassured her, smiling. "Honestly, we were lucky. Both of us. I'm a pretty durable mutant—anyone else probably wouldn't have survived being carried around during Hulk's jumps. So, no harm done, and, well, the ending... heh. Totally worth it, if you ask me."

"You're not wrong," Jen agreed, then laughed. "Usually, things don't end this well for me. At the very least, I've never woken up after Hulk with clothes on and a cute—albeit bald—guy who wasn't running away in terror."

"Rrrrr!!!" I growled dramatically. "Why does everyone pick on my baldness?! I'm not bald—I'm thermo-depilated! When you're surrounded by temperatures of a few thousand degrees Celsius, it's hard to keep a hairstyle, you know! Or eyebrows! Or eyelashes! I'm lucky I still have my nails!"

"All right, all right! I'm sorry!" Jen laughed. "Didn't mean to offend you, Tobias."

"It's whatever. Being bald just sucks. I had a great head of hair, and I miss it. Speaking of, why did you decide to 'Hulk out' anyway?"

"Ugh. Some agents were tailing me. I came to New York to visit my cousin, thought I could do it under the radar, but I didn't even make it to him. A couple of women in plain clothes approached me on the street, flashing badges, talking logistics. 'Dr. Banner, come with us, there's someone who wants to talk to you.' I told them, 'Ladies, back off, or you won't like me when I'm angry.' Next thing I know, I get hit with a dart in the neck, and one of them sprays something in my face. But I was already pissed, and when I realized what was going on... Hulk came out, and I blacked out. Woke up with you holding me." Jen giggled. "So, Tobias, what do you do with the mutants? I've heard about you guys but never really got close to any. You're a pretty closed-off bunch."

"Pfft." I activated my inner wise sage mode. "You'd be closed off too if random idiots kept throwing rocks at you on the street. That's why we stick together—to protect each other as best we can. Our abilities are varied, and we all have roles. Some are in rescue teams, some in observation or electronic warfare roles, others maintain secure bases. Anyone who can pass as a regular human and hasn't been 'outed' works in the wider society to benefit the group. We're a tight-knit bunch." I smirked, feeling a sense of pride I hadn't fully recognized before. "I'm still in school, though. Once I graduate, I'll figure it out. With my powers, I'll probably end up in assault or defense teams. Maybe if things with regular humans improve, I'll find a different path. Things are looking up—mutants aren't getting trashed on the news as much anymore. Feels like progress."

"Wait, school?! How old are you?"

"Just turned fifteen recently."

"Fifteen?!" Jennifer gasped. "You've got to be kidding me, right?"

"Nope," I shrugged. "My ID's in the inner pocket of your jacket. Feel free to check for yourself."

She frantically dug into the pockets, pulled out my wallet, opened it, found my laminated ID card, and let out a string of colorful curses. So much for the sweet and composed type—turns out she's got a sailor's mouth. Tut-tut.

"Oh, goddess," she groaned. "And here I was thinking I got lucky—waking up from a naughty dream to find a topless hottie right next to me. And then he tries to kiss me… I should've known nothing good ever happens to me. First guy in my life, and he's underage. And now I'm just… Ugh." Shoulders slumping, she waved a hand dismissively, shoved the ID back into my wallet, and tucked it into the jacket pocket. I chuckled at her grim expression and clarified:

"I really don't see why you're so upset. I mean, you've got an alternate personality that's big, green, aggressive, invulnerable, and super-strong. If I recall correctly from the news, you're already practically on the global wanted list. Don't worry—I'm not gonna snitch. Besides, you're my first too, so you'll just have to take responsibility! You 'debuted' me, and now you're the one getting all bent out of shape? What's next? Telling me you'll call sometime, maybe?"

Jennifer Banner choking on her own spit with wide, stunned eyes was an absolutely priceless reaction to my mock-accusatory tirade.

"Seriously, don't sweat it so much," I sighed. "If it makes you feel better, just think of it as a bad dream and move on. I'm not holding any grudges. Especially since I was the one who made the first move. I mean, come on—when you're constantly surrounded by beautiful women and suddenly find a naked stunner in your arms, what guy wouldn't react? Honestly, only a gay dude would pass up on that."

"Mmm… Okay, let's just have some quiet time for a bit," she exhaled, fidgeting slightly before hesitantly asking, "Could you… warm me up again, please?"

"Of course," I grinned, gently wrapping her in a hug and sharing some heat. "Stick close; I'll be your walking heater while we go."

So, there we were, wandering through the wasteland. Me—barefoot, in just my boxers, radiating warmth with a grin plastered on my face as I cheerfully whistled the Imperial March. Just in case, I kept an eye out for radscorpions. Beside me was Dr. Banner—wearing my clothes and shoes, looking thoughtful but not glum.

Funny how we ended up being each other's firsts. For me, she was my first woman; for her, I was her first guy. When I asked how she'd learned "all that stuff," she waved vaguely and said just one word: "specialized equipment." Uh-huh, sure. We know what kind of "equipment" that is. Heh. Deadpool even showed me pictures of it on her phone once. And so we walked, until a small town came into view.

"Alright, Jen," I began, "Hand over the wallet—I'll lay out the plan. It's reliable, solid. If we need to tweak it, we can, or you can suggest your own later. Sound good?" Jennifer nodded and passed me the wallet.

"Okay. I've got $226 here. Aha, and here's Misty's business card. Here's what we'll do: I'll stay here because a nearly-naked teenager wandering into town might raise too many eyebrows. You head into town, find a phone, and call this number. Explain the situation—no need for too many details if you don't want to. Tell them where we are and set up a meeting point. While the cavalry gets moving or sends someone local to babysit us, hit up a secondhand store and grab some cheap but decent clothes—no rags, please—and come back. If there's any money left, we'll grab a bite in a cafe while we wait for rescue. Ideally, the meeting spot is visible from the cafe. We sit, sip tea or coffee, munch on sandwiches, and wait. The heroes show up, take us somewhere warm, and maybe—just maybe—I'll make it to my exam tomorrow."

"Sounds good in theory, but I'm not coming with you. I…." She hesitated. "I'm dangerous, Toby. To other people. If I get scared or angry, Hulk takes over, and then… it's chaos."

"You know, I won't lie and say that doesn't describe half the mutants at our place," I said. "Some of them are incredibly dangerous and can't control their powers. But we help those people. We teach them how to manage, to control, or at least to cope. Or we find workarounds. For example, the girl we had lunch with today—she can kill with a touch and can't turn it off. She wears gloves. I happen to be immune to her power. One of our teachers can't stop his eyes from blasting plasma, so he wears a special visor. Honestly, Jen, they can help you too. For what it's worth, Hulk and I got along just fine—we even had a little chat and some extra on top."

Jennifer looked pensive, so I pressed on.

"Jen, at the very least, you'd have people to talk to, people who'd understand. You could work in your field—labs, funding, the whole nine yards. It's not government-level, but it's more than decent. Dr. McCoy would probably love to have you on board."

"Henrietta McCoy?!" Her eyes widened. "You know her?"

"Of course I do," I replied with a grin. "She's the one who helped me figure out my powers. I'm clueless about all that science stuff, but without her, I might've gotten hurt—or hurt others. She had her own struggles with control too, you know, because of her animalistic traits. So think it over. At the very least, talking to our people won't hurt. You're almost one of us already, Jen. And I know they'd be glad to have you."

"Alright…" she murmured thoughtfully. "I'll think about it, Toby. Thanks. I'll try to be quick." Flashing me a slightly unsure smile, she headed toward the town. I crouched behind a scraggly bush, then sprawled out on the ground and indulged in my favorite pastime—cloud-watching, Shikamaru-style.

Why did I even bother convincing Banner? Because she's a genius. Sure, Hulk-smashing with the Avengers is cool, but this woman could do so much good for mutants. Not that anyone's going to force her—God forbid. I've seen way too many movies and cartoons where people like us get coerced into things. Why repeat those mistakes? Only persuasion, kindness, respect, and mutual support. I'll make sure our people get that. And our leaders aren't fools, either. 

Jennifer wants a place where she belongs—don't we all? Charlene is a kind woman; she'll want to help. Erika is tougher, but she'll see the value in having someone as brilliant and powerful as Jennifer on our side. And me? I wouldn't mind if she "relieved some stress" with me every now and then. Heh-heh-heh. Dangerous? Sure, but who isn't? Just because you have a hammer doesn't mean you go around bashing heads. It just means you have a hammer. So Nick Fury—or whoever's running SHIELD right now—can deal. Jennifer will make her own decisions, and I'll do my best to make sure she's on our side.

Time was on my side, so I found myself pondering a very pressing matter: since I'd obviously be participating in all kinds of heroic combat scenarios, it was only logical to think about what my superhero alias would be. The Incinerator? Grill-Man? The Ass-Burner? Nah, it needed to sound sharp, punchy. Something dramatic, like Monty Python's "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" Maybe just… The Inquisitor? Ugh, no. Too pompous. But I can't go around calling myself Good Boy either—that's just asking to be mocked into oblivion.

Lost in these vital musings, I eventually noticed Dr. Banner approaching with a bag of clothes. I threw on the new threads, and we headed into the city together. Jen was still deep in thought, answering half my comments at random, but at least she let me wrap my arm around her for warmth—and even returned the gesture, lightly.

We reached a cafe and spent a solid hour and a half there, sipping tea and munching sandwiches. It was cozy enough—until Jean Grey and Logan walked in.

Cue introductions all around, followed by Jen having a private little chat with Jean and Logan while I lingered. Occasionally, Jean shot me these absolutely scandalized looks, and Logan, of course, sniffed the air like a suspicious bloodhound, glancing between me and Jen. Oh, for fuck's sake. One of them read our minds, the other smelled it. Mutants and secrets go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Anyway, the end result was a deal: Jen would fly back with us to have a chat with Charlene and Erika. If things didn't work out, they'd still help her disappear. And yes—we flew back. The mutants had parked an invisible jet just outside the city. My mood? Through the roof. I've wanted to ride in one of these things for ages. Seriously, how freaking cool is that?

We boarded the jet, Jen and Jean heading up front to chat while Logan and I took seats near the back. Silence settled in—until Logan broke it.

"Kid," he began, voice low and almost contemplative. "You're definitely not dying of old age, that's for damn sure." He paused, then added with a faint smirk, "But I gotta say, your stunt? Trying to go out fast and messy? That was the dumbest thing I've seen in my entire life. On the flip side, though…" He gave a low chuckle. "If you'd actually died by fucking Hulk, I would've tipped my hat at your grave. That's one hell of a way to go."

He leaned back, his smirk widening as he continued, "But fucking Hulk and surviving? Now that's something else entirely."

And then it happened. Something I'd only heard rumors about, whispered tales of legend: Logan laughed. Not a grunt, not a scoff—he full-on laughed.