Naruto:This Time, I, Kotetsu Hagane, Will No Longer Be Lazy

Kotetsu, satisfied with ruffling Anko's feathers a bit, turned his attention to Kurenai. He leaned on the bar, smirking as he casually threw out his next question.

"So, what about you?" he asked, glancing at her over the rim of his drink. "You and Asuma-san still doing that on-again, off-again thing?"

Kurenai, who had been calmly sipping her drink, nearly choked. "Wha—?" She quickly composed herself, though a faint flush of red crept up her cheeks. "That's—There's nothing—"

Anko, ever the instigator, grinned like a fox. "Aww, c'mon, Kurenai. Don't be shy. It's sooo obvious you've been waiting for your bearded prince to come waltzing back from the Daimyō's court."

Kotetsu chuckled, while Iruka looked like he wanted to sink into his chair to avoid any stray crossfire.

Kurenai shot Anko a flat look. "I am not waiting for him."

Anko leaned in, resting her chin on her palm. "Oh, really? So if Asuma walked in here right now, you wouldn't bat those pretty red eyes of yours and act like you weren't hoping he'd sit next to you?"

Kurenai groaned, rubbing her temple. "Why am I even friends with you?"

Anko grinned. "Because I tell it like it is."

Kotetsu smirked. "So, is she right?"

Kurenai sighed, finally relenting as she swirled the last of her drink. "Look, Asuma and I… it's complicated. He's been gone for a while, and yeah, maybe I do wonder when he'll be back. But I'm not waiting for him, alright?"

Anko snorted. "Mmm-hmm. Sounds like someone's in denial."

Kurenai shot her a look but let out a small laugh despite herself. "You're impossible."

Kotetsu grinned. "Hey, I get it. Long-distance thing. The whole 'will-they-won't-they' drama." He shrugged. "Makes sense. He's off playing bodyguard for the Daimyō, and you've got a life to live here."

Kurenai nodded. "Exactly."

Anko gave her a sly look. "Sooo… you haven't moved on yet?"

Kurenai sighed. "Anko—"

Anko leaned back, laughing. "Relax, I'm just messing with you."

Kotetsu chuckled. "Damn, Kurenai, they really don't let you breathe, huh?"

She rolled her eyes but smiled, sipping the last of her drink. "Not for a second."

Iruka, finally daring to speak, chuckled. "I think I'm learning a lot tonight."

Kotetsu grinned, leaning back. "That's the magic of the Crimson Kunai, my friend."

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Kotetsu leaned back against the bar, letting the warmth of the alcohol settle in his chest as he glanced between the group. "Alright, so, are we sticking to the topic of love, or does someone have something else they're itching to talk about?"

Anko, ever the troublemaker, smirked and leaned forward on her elbows. "What, you that desperate to find out who I'm crushing on? Hoping it's you?"

Kotetsu chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, now that would be some juicy intel." He shot her a teasing look. "I mean, I won't lie—I am a little curious. But hey, it doesn't have to be you. We do still have Iruka here."

Then like a snake Anko coiled around Iruka's body making the young man squirm. "Oi don't be like that Iruka-kun I'm sure there's someone you could think of." As her large pair of assets hit his chest.

Iruka, who had just taken a sip of his drink, immediately coughed, nearly choking as his face turned beet red. "W-what?" He looked between the three of them, completely caught off guard. "I—I don't have a crush on Anko—"

Anko burst into laughter, slapping the counter. "Oh, relax, Iruka! It's fine. But damn, that reaction—priceless."

Kotetsu grinned, watching his friend struggle. "Seriously, man, you gotta work on your poker face."

Iruka groaned, rubbing his face as he muttered, "Why am I even here?"

Kurenai, who had been quietly observing the chaos, finally decided to step in. "Alright, alright, let's not break Iruka. He's had enough for one night."

Anko, still grinning, wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Fine, fine. But you never answered, Kotetsu—are you hoping I've got a thing for you?"

Kotetsu smirked, resting his chin on his hand. "What can I say? A guy likes to dream."

Anko scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Keep dreaming, then."

As another round of drinks hit their tables, Kotetsu felt the weight of the conversation shift, the playful teasing turning into something lighter.

"Alright, Iruka," Kotetsu said with a grin, taking a slow sip from his drink. "Since we're already on the topic, what about you? No one catching your eye?"

Iruka sighed, staring down into his drink before shaking his head. "Not really." His voice was quieter now, more thoughtful. "I mean, I could say something just to play along, but honestly... I haven't really had time to think about stuff like that." He ran a hand through his hair, his usual nervous habit. "I've been too busy trying to keep up as a shinobi, trying to prove myself. And..." His voice trailed off for a moment before he exhaled. "I guess part of me just... hasn't really felt ready."

There was a moment of silence between them, not an awkward one, but a pause filled with understanding.

Kotetsu gave him a small nod. "That's fair."

Kurenai, ever perceptive, offered a kind smile. "You've been through a lot, Iruka. There's no rush."

Anko, despite her usual teasing nature, didn't poke fun at him for once. Instead, she just nudged his arm lightly. "Hey, nothing wrong with taking your time. Love and all that crap—it's not going anywhere."

Iruka let out a small chuckle, shaking his head. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Kotetsu smirked, the mood lightening once again. "Well, if you do find someone, we'll be sure to embarrass the hell out of you about it."

Iruka groaned, but there was a ghost of a smile on his face. "Yeah, I don't doubt that for a second."

The conversation shifted, the four of them sat around their drinks, the dim glow of the shinobi tavern. The lanterns of the place casting flickering shadows on their faces. The bar had settled into a lazy hum, the only real noise coming from a pair of shinobi playing pool in the back and the occasional clink of glasses. 

Kotetsu smirked as he swirled the remaining liquid in his cup, looking between his companions. Anko was leaned back, completely at ease, while Iruka seemed to be doing his best not to get caught staring at her. Kurenai, ever composed, sat with a relaxed but elegant posture, sipping her drink at a measured pace. 

Kotetsu, sensing an opportunity, grinned and set his glass down. "You know, Kurenai, for someone with such an icy, refined demeanor, I bet you've got some skeletons in your closet. Maybe even a wild side we don't know about." 

Kurenai arched an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Oh? And what makes you say that, Kotetsu?" 

Anko, smelling mischief, perked up. "Ooooh, yeah, I like where this is going. You got dirt on her, Kotetsu?" 

Kotetsu leaned in slightly, as if letting them in on a secret. "Not yet, but I have a theory. See, the quiet ones are always the ones you gotta watch out for. They pretend to be all graceful and proper, but I bet if you get Kurenai drunk enough, she starts spilling all sorts of interesting things." 

Iruka snorted into his drink, while Kurenai rolled her eyes. "You're making a lot of assumptions, Kotetsu." 

Kotetsu feigned deep thought, tapping his chin. "Alright, alright, let's test this. I'll ask a simple question: Kurenai, what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you during a mission?" 

Anko leaned forward, grinning. "Oh, this is gonna be good. C'mon, Kurenai, spill it." 

Kurenai hesitated for a moment, then sighed, setting down her drink. "Fine. But if I answer, Kotetsu, you have to share one of your own." 

Kotetsu smirked. "Deal." 

Kurenai exhaled, rubbing her temples as if debating whether she should actually say it. Finally, she spoke. "Alright… so, a couple of years ago, I was on a mission in the Land of Fire's outskirts. Being known as the playground for the rich and nobles type. So yuck, a bunch of old fat men. It was supposed to be a routine reconnaissance job, nothing complicated. But… well, I kind of… fell into a hidden hot spring." 

Anko blinked, then started cackling. "Oh this is getting good, go on?"

Kotetsu grinned. "Oh, this is starting out good. Please, continue." 

Kurenai shot him a glare before continuing. "It was one of those old, natural ones, hidden between the rocks. I lost my footing while scouting ahead and tumbled straight in—fully clothed. And, as luck would have it, right as I was trying to get out,

I noticed them a group of elderly old men happened to be bathing with a few drinks of sake. They were as naked as the day they were born, not a towel in sight." 

And I don't know how to explain it but they suddenly reacted to me.

Anko blinked then chuckled. "Wait—you what?!" 

Kotetsu grinned, laughing like a maniac as he knew just what to say next. Assuming it must be the alcohol talking. "Oh I got it for you. The old men got hard while looking at you. After all it must have been the first young woman they've seen in ages. Wait Don't tell me. Could they see through your clothes?"

Kurenai's face heated up and she looked down, suddenly more interested in her drink rather than this conversation.

Anko nearly fell out of her chair laughing. Iruka covered his face with one hand, clearly trying not to laugh but failing. Kotetsu, meanwhile, grinned like a fox. 

"So what you're telling me, you saw nothing but old rinkley dicks suddenly go as active as if they were a volcano ready to erupt."

It gets worse as I was so embarrassed I ran away before properly explaining the situation. So those old men assumed I was interested in older men. So the next day my team was called in by the client and it turned out to be one of the old men from the hot spring. The entire time he'd made subtle remarks to me in front of my team. With my team giving me side I glances wondering what the connection was.

Later I was called into the nobles office and their I learned that they all owned property in the area and some were a part of the daimyo's courts. By the minute it go worse as he tried to make advances towards me because he assumed I was interested or would be impressed by all his money. The man had no idea about the term Kunoichi but he thought it meant easy sex with a female ninja. 

I turned him down and left. But my team still looked at me strange for coming out the mans quarters. It took weeks to clear things up.

Kotetsu said, barely able to contain himself, " so somewhere out there, there are a bunch of old men who probably still tell the tale of the 'mysterious woman who stalked them at the hotsprings.'" 

Kurenai groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Yes, Kotetsu. That is exactly what I'm telling you." 

Anko wiped a tear from her eye. "Damn, Kurenai, I knew you had a good story in you!" 

Kotetsu leaned in again, smirking. "See? I knew it. You do have a wild side." 

Kurenai, regaining her composure, picked up her drink and took a slow sip before setting it down. She gave Kotetsu a knowing look. "Alright, your turn. What's your most embarrassing mission story?" 

Kotetsu hesitated for a moment, then grinned. "Alright, fine. So, picture this—I'm fresh out of the Academy, assigned to a B-rank mission with a senior team. My job? Simple: Deliver a scroll to an outpost, don't engage, don't draw attention. But halfway there, we take a break near this village, and I—being the genius that I am—decide to relieve myself behind a tree." 

Iruka already looked worried. "Oh no…" 

Kotetsu smirked. "Oh yes. Right as I'm finishing up, I hear voices. Turns out, I had unknowingly wandered into the back courtyard of a noblewoman's estate—right as she and her attendants were um. Engaged in prior arrangements. And let me tell you, nothing quite kills your mood like being caught by a kid with his pants down while he's mid-stream and that same noble lady locks eyes with you. " 

Anko howled with laughter, slamming her fist on the table." Wait so what'd you do next?"

Kotetsu gave her a confused looked, "I stared back at her and continued my stream. You can't just stop mid-stream."

Anko laughed. "Oh my god! You just stared at her?!" 

"Yup Tits and all and let me say she had an impressive set."With Kotetsu nodding his head in admiration.

"Oh so Kotetsu-kun your saying your a breast man aren't you," with Anko putting her arms under her chest to heighten her chest size, as if she was daring him to look.

Kotetsu dramatically put his hands out as if to cover his face from the sun. "No Anko stop its too blinding." But then he goes to take a peek only to see her smug face.

"No fair!" Kotetsu whined.

Kotetsu shrugged dramatically. "What was I supposed to do? Bow? Anyways after that she tried to get me executed so I threatened to expose her with photos of the event. Even though I didn't have any photos. In the end she dropped it and is probably out somewhere getting her back blown out against a tree. With her flappy tits swinging in the air." 

Kurenai, unable to help herself, chuckled into her drink. "You really are unbelievable." 

Kotetsu smirked, raising his glass. "Hey she wanted to play hard ball so I had to show her I was even harder." 

Anko, grinning, lifted her glass. "Another sex joke? God you need to get laid!" 

Kurenai sighed but clinked her glass against theirs. "To the things we wish we could forget." 

Iruka, still red from laughter, lifted his own glass. "To hoping none of these stories ever get out." 

The four of them laughed, drinking to their shared misfortunes, the weight of their duties momentarily forgotten in the haze of alcohol and camaraderie.