NOVEL ONLINE FREE Chapter 133 - Do with her?
“…Talk?”
Hearing his voice, Bai Yu turned around. Looking at YouYu’s serious expression, she seemed to realize that he had caught on to something, and for a moment, hesitation flickered across her face.
After a brief silence, she spoke in a low voice:
“I don’t think there’s much to talk about regarding this… but, since it’s something you want, I’ll listen.”
“No, Bai Yu.”
Seeing her reluctant and somewhat resigned expression, YouYu shook his head and corrected her immediately:
“I don’t mean to speak in a commanding tone, as if forcing you to listen to me talk about ‘reasoning’ and ‘logic.’”
“I genuinely want to help you. That’s why I said that.”
Speaking with sincerity, YouYu pulled his chair closer and leaned in slightly before continuing:
“If this is making you uncomfortable, you don’t have to say anything.”
“…YouYu…”
Hearing those words, Bai Yu paused, then let out a deep sigh.
In the end, she couldn’t bring herself to refuse him. Instead, she shook her head, signaling that it was fine and that he should continue.
Because she understood—
The reason YouYu was saying these things… was because he cared about her.
She couldn’t reject his kindness.
“…Alright, then… What I’m about to say might be harsh, but I hope you’ll hear me out.”
“So… is that okay?”
“…Yeah.”
“Good.”
Seeing Bai Yu nod in agreement, YouYu cleared his throat, took a moment to organize his thoughts, and then began speaking:
“From my perspective, Bai Yu, even though it’s only been a few days… I can tell.”
“Right now, you’re too insecure, too self-doubting… or rather, too ‘arrogant.'”
“You should be able to feel it yourself, right?”
“…Yeah.”
After a moment of silence, Bai Yu didn’t argue. She merely nodded, acknowledging the truth in his words.
“I see.”
Taking this chance—since he already understood her personality—YouYu decided to stop beating around the bush and got straight to the point:
“In these past… what, two or three days? I’ve been observing you, Bai Yu. After all, we knew each other before—I just lost my memories. So whenever I was with you… I was careful.”
“Because… every time I looked at you, I could see it—that expression on your face. Guilt? Sorrow? I don’t know why you always look like that, but I figured… it had something to do with me.”
“So… last night, before going to bed, I asked WuYue about it.”
As he spoke, YouYu took out his phone, opened his chat with WuYue, and scrolled up, past the flood of messages she had sent him. Finally, he reached what he was looking for.
He then held up his phone, pointing at the messages where WuYue had laid out everything about his past—before he lost his memories.
“After asking WuYue, I more or less figured out your situation.”
“And when I saw you this morning… and heard the things you said… it only confirmed my suspicions.”
His tone grew more serious.
“Bai Yu, even now… you still can’t let go of the past, can you? You still remember everything from back then—my ‘death,’ my ‘disappearance’—so that’s why…”
“That’s why you said things like, ‘I’d do anything for you.’ At its core, it’s not just about me—it’s about easing your own guilt and… atonement.”
“When you first ‘saved’ me, you acted tough at first, but not long after, you barely questioned anything I said—you just went along with it.”
“Because to you, ‘saving’ me was a way to make amends. Just like I said.”
“…Am I wrong, Bai Yu?”
“…Ah…”
As YouYu laid bare her deepest thoughts, Bai Yu could no longer maintain her calm facade. Her voice wavered as she stammered:
“M-Maybe that’s true! I do… have those thoughts…”
“……”
“But I really just wanted to save you…! That’s why—”
“I never said what you did was wrong, Bai Yu.”
Seeing her start to panic, YouYu reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, steadying her.
“On the contrary… the fact that you did it—that was a good thing.”
“…A good thing?”
Not quite understanding what he meant, Bai Yu hesitated but eventually calmed down and sat back in her chair, deciding to listen further.
Seeing this, YouYu nodded and finally gave her an answer.
“Because back then… at least you still had a real goal.”
“But now, you don’t even have that anymore.”
He shook his head.
“Ever since the day you said those words, you’ve been acting as if you’re completely devoted to me—going along with everything, pushing yourself to do everything perfectly. Even yesterday, after walking such a long distance, you didn’t complain once.”
“And because of that… you’re failing at everything now.”
“……”
“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, Bai Yu.”
“Whether it was back then, or even just this morning… You were afraid you wouldn’t do things well enough, weren’t you?”
“……”
Seeing Bai Yu fall silent, YouYu sighed.
Then, instead of staying seated, he stood up, stepped beside her, and met her gaze.
“Listen to me, Bai Yu. I might not fully understand what you’re feeling… but please, hear me out.”
“…You can’t keep dwelling in the past forever. Sooner or later, you have to step forward.”
“Both Liu Meng and I have been through this. She had a painful past, and as for me… I lost my memories and, without even understanding why, became something not human, facing a fate that could be terrible…”
“But neither of us got stuck in that pain. We accepted it—our regrets, our sorrow—and kept moving forward.”
“The future is uncertain, but if you keep sinking into the darkness of the past… you’ll never have a future at all.”
“And more than anything… I don’t want to be the reason you keep yourself trapped like this.”
“Because keeping up this ‘lie’… will only hurt you.”
“……”
After hearing all of that, Bai Yu fell into a long silence.
For a fleeting moment, she remembered—
The things YouYu and WuYue had said to her when they first met.
It was just a brief mention at the time, nothing in-depth. But she had remembered.
She had been… holding on to it ever since.
“……”
So—
“I thought I had already changed…”
But had she really been standing still all this time?
Still…
At least now.
Because of YouYu.
Because he was helping her.
She still had the chance to change.
And so—
“YouYu.”
Bai Yu suddenly called his name.
“What should I do now?”
“Do what you want to do.”
YouYu responded without hesitation.
“…I see.”
“……”
“Then… YouYu.”
With unwavering seriousness in both her voice and expression, Bai Yu stood up from the chair, stepped in front of YouYu, and slowly placed a hand over her chest.
She locked eyes with him and spoke:
“I’ve made up my mind.”
“From now on, I want to be with you—”
Bang!
But before she could finish her sentence, the door slammed open!
Standing at the entrance, looking utterly flustered, was WuYue—alongside Liu Meng, whose expression was dark and unreadable.
“…YouYu.”
From the doorway, Liu Meng narrowed her eyes at how close he was standing to Bai Yu, her tone laced with irritation.
“What do you want to do with her?”