The Paradox of E

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1. The Divine Ticket Response

E stared at the message from GOD.

Reality was already packing its bags.

Bob was still unconscious.

E cracked his fingers and started typing.

REPLY:

"Rollback was necessary. Your update broke immersion. Users were unhappy. Please reconsider microtransactions in existential crises."

He hit send.

The universe held its breath.

A reply came instantly.

FROM: "GOD"

"Who told you I take suggestions?"

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2. The Celestial Terms of Service

Reality shook its head. "You just pissed off the Admin."

E shrugged. "First time?"

The sky ripped open, revealing a colossal scroll.

Bob, now awake, screamed.

[UNIVERSE TERMS OF SERVICE – UPDATED.]

1. Do not rollback reality without divine approval.

2. Do not engage in unauthorized fourth-wall interactions.

3. Do not offer better customer support than GOD.

E narrowed his eyes.

"That last one feels personal."

Reality nodded.

"It is."

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3. The Ultimate Tech Support Call

E took a deep breath.

"Fine. Let's do this the old-fashioned way."

He dialed a number on an invisible phone.

[CONNECTING TO: DIVINE SUPPORT HOTLINE…]

GOD: "Thank you for calling Universal Support. Your estimated wait time is… forever."

E grinned.

"Yeah, I hacked your queue. We're talking now."

Silence.

Then—

GOD: "…What do you want?"

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4. The Negotiation of Reality

E leaned back.

"Here's the deal. The microtransaction update failed. People hate it. I fixed it. Instead of punishing me, maybe we figure out how to make reality… less broken?"

Reality nodded furiously.

Bob tried to look wise. Failed.

There was a long pause.

Then—

GOD: "Fine. I'll remove the Life Premium Shop. But I'm adding ads."

E facepalmed.

Reality groaned.

Bob looked at the sky.

Suddenly—

[NEW UPDATE: NOW FEATURING SKIPPABLE ADS IN DREAMS.]

Bob screamed.

E sighed.

"Close enough."

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