The Red Words

Days passed so fast and now I'm in 9th grade, the first year in my new adventure

" High School". I was so scared of this adventure because it seems that was one of the worst years. I am lost and I lost a friend, the one who I trusted most.

" I lost a friend like keys in a sofa,

like a wallet in the backseat,

like ice in the summer heat... I lost a friend"

-I lost a friend by Finneas

Is it so easy to lose a friend, Finneas? Do they value as wallet and keys?

Yes, Finneas I lost a friend and I lost my mind too. It's not fair that there will be no sleepovers anymore, teasing brothers, Halloween candy. No yelling hellos and goodbyes, watching movies, and talking about handsome boys. All these things will never come back and it makes me sad. I was wondering...

" How are you doing?"

" Hi? Are you listening to me?"

I turned on the recorder, hoping that you can hear it soon.

" Hi, I miss you and I miss everything we used to do together.. I miss all the wildcats, do you remember that was our team name. I can't believe that Christmas has gone without our special crazy celebrations. A lot of questions and things are running there in my mind, but there's no you any more to answer me. I stopped taking your home street on my way home from school. I'm not seeing you and it hurts me that you left easily. Where do all our memories go?

" I've been watching you for some time... Can't stop staring at those ocean eyes.."

- Ocean eyes by Billie Eilish

Do you remember I used to sing it for you, I miss your ocean eyes, my closest friend, the one who I went through ups and downs with. You left and here I am getting by sadly for you leaving.

" I'd rather be anywhere anywhere but here"

-Good years by Zayn Malik

You used to sing this for me when I feel sad, you know what? I'd rather be anywhere but with you. While I walk every day I hear some voices whispering about your death and that bothers me. Our homeroom teacher kept talking about death and that is human destiny and that our office counselor will always be open. Blah, blah, blah... It makes me sad that they accepted your death easily. I'm sure you are here somewhere. Are we playing seek and hide? Where can I find you? They say I'm crazy and I should see the counselor but I don't care. I miss you a lot. If you asked me what do you mean to me, I would say the world. Today we talked about stem cells and our biology teacher said that stem cells are used to repair tissues and the damaged ones, but I'm sure even stem cells can't repair your loss in my heart. I love you, RIP sweetheart"

I turned the recorder off and I think it is time to write again. I brought my brown notebook.

FRIENDS

Dear People,

Everyone has a different definition of FRIENDS. But for me, a real friend is someone who stands with you in your troubles, shares your happy days, advises you, and respects your opinion. Yes finding a real friend is so hard, I used to be the side who always loves and cares more in any relation. I'm afraid of having new friends because friendship means opening your heart and soul, to expose your past and true friend will accept you with your faults. It's all risk of being rejected, unliked, and betrayed. I hate that I can't be myself the way I used to be with you, I don't want to be the person who hides behind a fake smile and I hate the closed feeling which I get when I can't be myself. What if I can't find my lifelong friend? I should work hard on myself, to open myself to new friendships. I must believe that there is someone in the universe between the sea and sky who will be my lifelong friend and we will find each other one day. Yes, my only friends left. Friends are precious gifts we have in our lives, Henry Ford once said " There are three things that grow precious with age: old books to read, old wood to burn and old friends to enjoy". I love this quote. It really presents what one needs as they get old so:

Dear people, having a friend in your life is an essential thing in my opinion because you need someone to share things with, who could hold your pains. Someone can realize your sadness without telling him/her.

Advice: Open yourself to new friends, expose your soul and heart. Don't be shy about your past. Search for your lifelong friend, don't be afraid of being rejected, and be brave.