The Thief, The Trickster, and The Stolen Kiss

Kain stared at the ceiling, completely motionless, the glowing mark on his chest pulsing like a cruel joke.

Tsuki lay beside him, face buried in a pillow, legs kicking in sheer frustration.

Neither of them moved.

Neither of them spoke.

Then, after a long, painful silence—

Kain slowly turned his head toward Tsuki, his face utterly blank.

"…Tsuki."

She grumbled into the pillow.

"I think we just got married."

Tsuki shot up like she had been electrocuted. "DON'T SAY IT. DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!"

Kain pointed at his glowing chest mark, wild-eyed. "THIS IS A WEDDING RITUAL, ISN'T IT?!"

Tsuki grabbed his shirt collar, shaking him violently. "IT'S NOT A WEDDING RITUAL! IT'S JUST A VERY STRONG DIVINE BOND THAT CAN ONLY HAPPEN BETWEEN TWO SOULS WHO ARE COMPATIBLE—OH GODS, IT'S A WEDDING RITUAL."

Kain's soul left his body.

"NO! NO, NO, NO! THIS ISN'T REAL!" He clutched his chest, as if he could somehow rip the mark off by sheer willpower.

Tsuki rolled off the bed dramatically, flailing. "I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FREE GODDESS FOREVER!"

Kain threw his hands in the air. "I'VE NEVER EVEN HAD A GIRLFRIEND! HOW DID I SKIP STRAIGHT TO BEING SOUL-MARRIED TO A FOX GOD?!"

Tsuki grabbed a pillow and screamed into it.

Kain grabbed another pillow and screamed into it too.

They both threw their pillows at each other.

Tsuki sat up abruptly, wild-eyed. "WAIT. DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CALL YOU 'HUSBAND' NOW?!"

Kain pointed at her aggressively. "DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

She grinned evilly. "Ohhh~ my dear divine consort~."

Kain collapsed onto the bed face-first. "I'M GONNA DIE."

Tsuki cackled. "Oh gods, wait—what if my followers find out?!"

Kain snapped back up. "YOU HAVE FOLLOWERS?!"

Tsuki clapped her hands together. "I USED TO HAVE A WHOLE CULT! WHAT IF THEY THINK YOU'RE THEIR NEW DIVINE LEADER?!"

Kain felt actual tears forming. "NO! NOPE! I AM NOT DOING THIS! I AM NOT BECOMING A RELIGIOUS SYMBOL!"

Tsuki flopped backward onto the floor. "Ohhh nooo, what if they start worshiping you?"

Kain clutched his head. "I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO WOMEN PROPERLY, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LEAD A CULT?!"

Tsuki wheeze-laughed, gasping for air. "Oh gods, imagine if they start praying to you—'Oh, holy consort of the Trickster Goddess, bless us with your divine thievery'!"

Kain groaned into the mattress. "I HATE EVERYTHING."

Tsuki rolled over, wheezing. "I CAN'T BREATHE. THIS IS TOO GOOD."

Kain slammed his hands onto the bed. "Okay. NO. We are fixing this!"

Tsuki nodded aggressively. "YES. BREAK THE BOND. DIVINE DIVORCE. WE'RE DOING IT."

They froze.

Then, at the same time—

"…How do we do that?"

A heavy, suffocating silence filled the room.

Tsuki's ears twitched. "…I dunno."

Kain's eye twitched.

"YOU MEAN WE'RE STUCK LIKE THIS?!"

"TEMPORARILY! MAYBE! PROBABLY?!"

Kain flung himself backward onto the bed. "I AM NEVER STEALING FROM A DAMN RUIN EVER AGAIN."

Tsuki flopped down beside him, staring at the ceiling. "You say that, but we both know you're lying."

Kain groaned. "I HATE THAT YOU'RE RIGHT."

Tsuki grinned. "Aww~ you're already such a great husband~."

Kain grabbed a pillow and tried to smother himself with it. 

---

Kain let out a long, exhausted groan and collapsed onto the bed, face-first into the pillow.

"Alright," he muttered, voice muffled. "I'm done. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually—just done. I refuse to think about this anymore. I'm going to sleep, and when I wake up, this will all have been a fever dream."

Tsuki sat cross-legged on the bed beside him, still staring at the glowing mark on his chest. Her usual smug expression had long since faded, replaced with something far more serious.

She nudged him. "You know that's not how reality works, right?"

Kain groaned louder and buried his face deeper into the pillow. "Let me have this, Tsuki."

She pursed her lips, golden eyes narrowing slightly as she flicked her tail against his side. "Fine, sleep. But when you wake up and realize you're still magically bound to me, don't come crying."

Kain lifted one arm weakly, flipped her off, and then promptly passed out.

Tsuki watched him in silence.

The room was calm now, the energy from the chaotic disaster earlier having settled.

But her mind was anything but calm.

She leaned in closer, eyes locked onto the divine mark on Kain's chest, her ears twitching as a strange, foreign emotion twisted in her gut.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

This wasn't a game anymore.

Tsuki had been alive for centuries. She had played tricks on kings, led heroes astray, and caused more chaos than most gods dared to dream of.

She had never—

Not once—

Been bound like this.

Her tail flicked anxiously as she reached out a trembling hand, fingers hovering just above the glowing sigil.

She could feel it.

It wasn't just some silly magical contract.

It wasn't an enchantment that would wear off in a few days.

This was real.

Something deeply ancient, deeply divine, and far too personal had just occurred between them.

And the worst part?

She hadn't meant for it to happen.

Her pulse quickened, and she snatched her hand back like she'd been burned.

This wasn't funny anymore.

This wasn't just a trick gone too far.

She had to fix this.

She had to fix this fast.

But as she sat there, watching Kain sleep, watching the rise and fall of his chest, feeling the faint, invisible thread of magic now linking them together…

Her heart lurched in a way she did not understand.

And for the first time in her long, chaotic life—

Tsuki was scared.