The Thief, The Trickster, and The Stolen Kiss

Silence weighed heavy in the royal hall.

Kain felt his stomach drop as Tsuki's words echoed in his mind.

"I have no idea how to break it."

Across the table, Lysara's eye twitched dangerously. The tension in the room was so thick it could've snapped in half.

Kain slowly turned to Tsuki, expression blank with horror.

"…I'm sorry. You what?"

Tsuki tilted her head innocently. "Mmm~ I said exactly what you think I said~."

Lysara, breathing deeply through her nose like she was resisting the urge to throw something, leaned forward.

"You're telling me that you bound Kain—a thief you've known for two days—to a divine connection of unknown consequences, and you **DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT?!"

Tsuki shrugged, completely unbothered. "That about sums it up~."

Kain gripped his own hair. "I'm in hell. This is actual hell."

Lysara, barely holding onto her patience, turned to Kain. "Do you understand how catastrophic this is?"

Kain threw up his hands. "YES, PRINCESS! I'M VERY AWARE THAT MY LIFE IS A DISASTER!"

"No, Kain!" Lysara slammed her hands on the table again, glaring. "You don't understand. This isn't just about you! This affects the kingdom. If what the priest said is true, then you've just—tied yourself to divine politics! Do you even understand what that means?"

Kain blinked. "…Uh. That I get divine discounts at churches?"

Lysara stared at him like she was resisting the urge to stab him.

Kain gulped. "…I'm guessing no."

"It means," Lysara said through gritted teeth, "that you've made yourself a target for anyone who sees this bond as a threat."

Kain blinked. "…Well. That's bad."

Tsuki sighed dramatically, lounging across the table. "Ohhh, so much fuss over a little divine connection~."

Lysara whipped toward her. "You. Explain. Everything. Now."

Tsuki groaned like a child being forced to do chores. "Ugh, so demanding…"

Lysara narrowed her eyes. "I am five seconds from throwing you into the dungeons."

Tsuki smirked. "Oho? A little roleplay already? My dear, I didn't know you were into—"

Lysara grabbed a dagger from a guard's belt and hurled it at Tsuki.

Tsuki dodged effortlessly, laughing. "My, my~ what a temper!"

"EXPLAIN, FOX!"

"Alright, alright! Geez, you're worse than your royal ancestors." Tsuki sighed, stretching her arms before finally leaning forward, her golden eyes glinting in a way that made Kain uneasy.

"This bond shouldn't exist."

Lysara and Kain stiffened.

"What do you mean?" Lysara asked.

"I mean, it's not supposed to work this way." Tsuki tapped a clawed finger against the table. "Divine bonds don't just form with mortals. Not like this. And certainly not in two days."

Kain raised a hand. "Again, I'd like to point out that I wasn't TRYING TO FORM ONE!"

Tsuki shot him a smirk. "And yet, here we are~."

Kain dragged a hand down his face. "I hate you so much."

Lysara frowned. "Then why did it work?"

Tsuki hesitated.

For the first time, she actually looked troubled.

"…I don't know."

Lysara's expression darkened. "You expect me to believe that?"

"Believe what you want, Princess." Tsuki flicked a tail lazily. "*But the truth is, I've never bonded with anyone before. Ever. In my entire existence. So the fact that this idiot somehow managed to do it in two days?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "It makes no sense. Not even for a joke spell."

Kain slowly lowered his hands. "…Wait. You mean…?"

Tsuki nodded. "Congratulations, thief. You're literally the first person in history to bond with me. Hope you feel special~."

Lysara and Kain exchanged a horrified look.

Lysara, voice tight, asked, "Then what does that mean for Kain?"

Tsuki's smile returned, slow and sharp.

"Ohhh, my dear thief…" She leaned in closer, golden eyes glowing faintly.

"That's what we're about to find out."

Kain felt actual, physical dread settle in his stomach.

"…Oh no."

---

Kain felt an unsettling chill crawl down his spine as Tsuki's golden eyes glowed faintly, her voice dripping with something too playful to be comforting.

"That's what we're about to find out."

Kain swallowed hard. "…Oh no."

Lysara narrowed her eyes. "You say that like you have an idea of what's coming."

Tsuki tilted her head, grinning wider. "Oh, not an idea~. A certainty."

She leaned closer to Kain, the amused glint in her eyes making his stomach twist. "See, my dear thief… the bond is complete. But that doesn't mean it's settled yet."

Kain's brow furrowed. "What does that mean?"

Tsuki tapped her chin, pretending to think. "Mmmm… how to put this in a way your tiny mortal brain will understand…"

Kain scowled. "Tsuki, I swear—"

"Oh! I've got it!" Tsuki clapped her hands together, tails flicking. "Think of it like… an awakening. Right now, your body and soul are still adjusting to the bond. But soon? Ohhh, soon it'll start activating~."

Kain's stomach dropped. "…Activating?"

Lysara's face tensed. "What do you mean, activating?"

Tsuki's smile widened. "Oh, I mean exactly what you think I mean~."

Kain sat bolt upright, gripping the table. "Oh, HELL no! I don't want anything 'activating!' TURN IT OFF!"

Tsuki burst into laughter. "Aww~ but we don't know what it does yet! Maybe it's something fun~."

Kain shook his head violently. "NO. NO FUN. I WANT NO PART OF THIS!"

Lysara, still clearly processing, turned to Tsuki. "What kind of activation? Is it magic-based? A physical change?"

Tsuki shrugged. "Could be anything! Could be magic~. Could be instincts~. Could be—" She paused, then smirked. "—something… personal~."

Kain went rigid. "Personal?"

Tsuki rested her chin on her hand, grinning like a devil. "Mmm, you know~. You and I are bound now. And bonds tend to influence their holders. Could be a connection of emotions… could be a physical reaction… could be a~—"

"STOP TALKING."

Tsuki cackled. "Ohhh, this is going to be so much fun~!"

Kain slammed his head into the table. "I AM GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO A VOLCANO."

Lysara, visibly repressing the urge to scream, rubbed her temples aggressively. "So, let me get this straight… Kain is now connected to a divine bond that will eventually manifest effects that we have no way of predicting?"

Tsuki nodded cheerfully. "Correct~!"

"And you have no idea how to stop it."

"Not a clue~!"

Lysara sighed sharply, clenching her fists. "This is an absolute disaster."

Kain, still face-down on the table, groaned. "You're telling me."

Tsuki hummed. "Mmm~ but we don't have to wait long to find out! I'd say we'll see the first effects... ohhhh, sometime very soon~."

Kain slowly lifted his head, staring at her in horror. "Define 'very soon.'"

Tsuki grinned, flashing sharp canines. "Oh, probably within the next day or two~."

Kain grabbed his head. "I hate my life."

Lysara stood, her royal patience at its absolute limit. "Until we figure this out, Kain, you are not leaving the palace. If this bond is truly unpredictable, you are too dangerous to send on a mission."

Kain sat up immediately. "Princess, come on! I'm not dangerous!"

Lysara glared. "You bonded with a trickster goddess in two days and are about to experience unknown divine side effects. That makes you the most dangerous person in this room."

Kain gestured wildly at Tsuki. "She exists! SHE should be the most dangerous!"

Tsuki winked. "Oh, I am~."

Lysara exhaled sharply. "You're both disasters."

Kain threw his hands in the air. "You can't just lock me up forever!"

Lysara's eyes glinted. "I can. And I will."

Tsuki cackled. "Ohhh, married life is already so exciting~!"

Kain, faced with the absolute worst reality possible, slumped onto the table, completely defeated.