Harmonious Love

Where There Is Sunlight, There Are Shadows (16)

“It’s annoying that you two are talking about something I don’t know, and I’m still wondering what you found and if it’s really a book, but since you say it’s private, I have nothing to say.”

“……”

“But Mo Yeon.”

“……”

“Remember, our relationship began with lies.”

At the same time, Mo Yeon recalled what Tae Young-won had said in the past.

Honestly, it was something he had completely forgotten.

Since they started wrong, let’s start over again. Let’s throw away this unsuitable lovers thing. That’s how their relationship had restarted after he persuaded him multiple times.

But now he couldn’t be certain if their current relationship suited them. At least to him, it didn’t seem to fit very well.

Perhaps they truly had been wrong from the start?

Maybe they were more mismatched than they appeared. Maybe it was an impossible connection that couldn’t truly restart. Because they were fundamentally different people. Because they were two incompatible people who could never blend together.

It felt like they had been forcibly entangled just because he happened to see something ghost-like.

“We started with you always backstabbing me, always planning to deceive me behind my back.”

“……”

“I don’t want to repeat that anymore.”

Perhaps Tae Young-won was trying to do the impossible. Why would he go that far? Even to himself, there had been many suspicious aspects to his behavior. So this was something he couldn’t understand.

“I guess you’re quite different from what I thought.”

Tae Young-won didn’t smile at all. He could never get used to Tae Young-won’s serious face.

“So I’m asking you. Don’t meet other men behind my back.”

“……”

Those words seemed more sincere than ever, making Mo Yeon squint his eyes.

Why was he saying such weak things? It wasn’t like him.

Until recently, he had been saying such playful and arrogant things. He thought he truly didn’t care at all.

But now he was making a “request” with completely different eyes.

“…What if I do meet someone?”

A strange expectation kept rising. It was too unfamiliar, too unlike him. And at the same time, he felt foolish for feeling this way.

He wanted to confirm it. That his expectations were completely off.

“What would happen if I did?”

“……”

Tae Young-won raised the corner of his mouth with cold eyes. Mo Yeon lowered his gaze.

“You seem curious about what would happen.”

That alone was answer enough. He would surely end things immediately.

“I won’t do anything shameful. Don’t worry.”

When he spoke calmly, Tae Young-won smiled faintly. Nodding as if he understood, he gestured toward where the car was parked.

“I’ll trust you. Let’s go now.”

Though they were walking side by side again, he still didn’t feel at ease.

Even when situations are resolved, emotions don’t disappear so easily.

After eating dinner at the restaurant they had planned to visit, the two didn’t talk much on the way home. The atmosphere remained awkward and cold.

“I want to rest at home today.”

Upon arriving at the officetel, Mo Yeon rushed up the stairs as if escaping.

In the cold air, Mo Yeon kept recalling Tae Young-won’s voice.

As he said, perhaps he really was curious. What would happen if he truly found someone to replace him?

Or if he had really bad luck and he discovered his efforts before he even found someone.

If he betrayed his expectations after he had sincerely asked for the first time.

His request was essentially a warning. And it left a much deeper impression on Mo Yeon’s heart. If he ignored the warning he gave with those eyes, he would probably…

Leave without a doubt. Even though he called him a cat and was the first to hold onto him because he got attached.

He would abandon and disappear in an instant.

Suddenly afraid, he considered not seeking a replacement from now on. But Mo Yeon wasn’t naive enough to believe that Tae Young-won wouldn’t leave just because he obeyed.

He would leave before being abandoned. Things were already creaking now anyway.

Although he was the one turning his back and walking away now, since the school parking lot, Mo Yeon had constantly felt like he was following Tae Young-won who was walking with his back to him.

As soon as he arrived home, Mo Yeon took out his phone. With clumsy movements, he searched for a contact that he had saved but never checked, and typed a message.

[I want to repay my debt. Contact me.]

“……”

After hesitating for a moment, Mo Yeon pressed the send button.

A deep sigh echoed in the dark entrance.

***

[Tae Young-won sunbae: Are you working today too? I’d like to see you for a bit.]

Mo Yeon hesitated before replying.

[Today?]

[Tae Young-won sunbae: Yes. I have something to talk about too.]

Seeing the immediate response, Mo Yeon bit his lip. After a brief contemplation, he moved his fingers.

[I don’t think I can today since I’ll be coming home late.]

Since exam period was approaching recently, Mo Yeon had been using it as an excuse to distance himself from Tae Young-won. He used part-time job excuses to sleep at their respective homes, and even when they ate together, they avoided deep conversations.

To Mo Yeon, this time felt like a period of realizing that they were incompatible beings. They had simply forgotten this because they were constantly together.

It was also a period of practice to avoid further confusion. The two had been in a relationship that was too ambiguous.

Due to his ignorance, he now realized they had been too much like lovers to be just sex partners. He didn’t know if Tae Young-won felt the same way.

He wanted to correct this now.

The read receipt on his sent message disappeared quickly, but the reply didn’t come as fast. Feeling slightly puzzled, he waited for a moment before a reply arrived.

[Tae Young-won sunbae: You’re working so hard these days. Must be tough.]

[Tae Young-won sunbae: Isn’t it difficult to study at the same time?]

[I’m used to it, so it’s fine.]

[Tae Young-won sunbae: Should I come pick you up?]

“……”

He took a sharp breath. Unlike before, Mo Yeon’s hands were not moving easily.

Eventually, with his gaze fixed on the last message, Mo Yeon bit his lip firmly.

‘I should have stopped this from the beginning.’

This is why I started to like him. What kind of sex partner is this caring?

No matter how subtly Mo Yeon tried to create distance, Tae Young-won was persistent. He kept pushing with his unique shamelessness and composure. Watching from a slight distance, Mo Yeon finally realized many things.

This is why, this is exactly why he had become like this!

“That bastard.”

Recently, he almost had strange expectations for a moment. The pathetic expectation that maybe Tae Young-won might have different feelings for him too.

After glaring resentfully at the innocent text, Mo Yeon slowly moved his hand.

[I have a company dinner today. Since I’ll be late, I’ll contact you tomorrow.]

After sending the reply, Mo Yeon turned off his phone.

No matter how much he tried to distance himself, when sitting in Tae Young-won’s house eating meals, he felt a pleasant and comfortable atmosphere. As he said, the two were best when they were alone together.

But now he knew. Their relationship, which was fine when they were at home, collided the moment they went outside. Since they had never really resolved the original issues, they were bound to flare up again.

“Hyun-su’s friend!”

As soon as he put his phone in his pocket and opened the door, he immediately made eye contact with the bartender. He waved at Mo Yeon, acknowledging him.

He had been coming here regularly these days. Mostly on weekends, but occasionally on weekdays too.

As it turned out, Kim Hyun-soo used to work here. The bartender who had been friendly with him since then used the name “Mark,” but he really disliked being called by his real name, “Jo Gwang-sik.”

But Kim Hyun-soo always called him Gwangsik hyung. Since it was only allowed for Hyun-soo, it seemed to indicate how close they were.

So Mo Yeon was wondering if the two might be in a relationship like lovers.

“Is Hyun-soo here too?”

“It’s crazy busy today so I called him in. Ah, that guy is caught up again.”

Following his chin gesture, he saw that Kim Hyun-soo was also working, saying it was busy today. For some reason, customers at every table he served didn’t seem to let him go.

“When Hyun-soo used to work, he attracted quite a lot of customers. It’s still the same now.”

The way he smiled while saying this, he looked like a proud parent watching his child.

Mo Yeon unconsciously looked in that direction again. The face that had been smiling warmly turned toward his direction.

‘Oh my!’

As their eyes met immediately, Mo Yeon was startled and waved his hand slightly.

He always smiled so brightly when seeing a familiar face. That was something he’d learned since he started coming here again.