Marvel’s Most Normal Man: Just Let Me Make Coffee!

Chapter 3: "Loki, That One Theater Kid"

It was another peaceful morning at my totally normal café.

Thor had become a regular over the past few days, treating my place like his personal mead hall. Which meant my mornings now involved serving coffee to a mountain of muscle who occasionally went on dramatic monologues about destiny.

Fun times.

But today was different.

Because today, I met his weirder, more dramatic sibling.

---

The Door Slammed Open.

Now, usually, when someone bursts into a café wearing a black cape, slicked-back hair, and an aura of pure arrogance, you'd assume they were either:

1. A magician

2. A theater major

3. A guy cosplaying as Dracula

But no. This one introduced himself with flair.

"I am Loki, God of Mischief!"

Silence.

The café went completely still.

I kept wiping a coffee mug, unimpressed.

Tony, who was already here, sipped his coffee and smirked.

Thor, sitting at the corner table with a muffin, groaned into his hands.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "Oh great. Another one."

Loki blinked. "Another one?"

Thor waved vaguely. "Do not mind him, brother. He is… immune to our divinity."

Loki scoffed. "Oh, please. No mere mortal is—"

He snapped his fingers.

Nothing happened.

Loki frowned. He tried again. Nothing.

His smug expression started to crack.

"…This is some sort of joke, yes?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You okay there, buddy?"

Loki's eye twitched. "I—No. Something is… wrong."

I glanced at Tony. "Is this guy another gym bro?"

Tony snorted. "More like a theater kid with an ego problem."

Loki looked personally offended. "How dare you—"

I sighed. "Look, do you want coffee or not?"

Loki hesitated. Then, clearly deciding to pretend that nothing was wrong, he straightened his cape and dramatically took a seat.

"…Fine. Surprise me."

I nodded and made him an extra bitter espresso, just for the vibes.

When I handed it to him, he took a slow sip, then sighed dramatically.

"This is excellent," he admitted begrudgingly.

Thor chuckled. "See, brother? Even a trickster like you cannot deny good craftsmanship."

Loki glared. "Do not mistake my appreciation for submission."

I rolled my eyes. "You guys talk like you're in a Shakespeare play."

Loki narrowed his eyes. "And you… are utterly baffling."

Tony laughed. "That's what we've all been saying."

Loki just stared at me, like he was trying to figure out why the universe was bending over backwards for a random café owner.

But I just shrugged.

It's just coffee, man.

---

Meanwhile, Outside the Café…

Nick Fury's headache was getting worse.

"…So now LOKI is powerless in there?"

"Yes, sir."

Fury exhaled. "And the barista?"

"Still just a guy."

Fury narrowed his eye.

Bullshit.